Like a hawk from Hell (Plus: Did Hillary REALLY insult black people?)

I'm still predicting a Republican victory, partly because I just want to be different, and partly because of my motto: "Always predict the worst. That way all of your surprises will be happy." By cracky, if a man goes to the trouble of formulating a motto, then he better stick with it to the bitter end, goldurnit.

But, yeah, at the moment things are looking bad for Donnie. A cinematic precedent may be instructive.

As most of you know, the "Max Shreck" character in Batman Returns was based on Donald Trump -- with one big difference: The movie character does not himself run for office. Instead, he uses the Penguin as his puppet. The Penguin's election seems assured until Batman gives Gotham City an earful of a clandestine recording in which Penguin screeches: "You gotta admit, I've played this stinkin' city like a hawk from Hell!"

In other words, Shreck's plan was undone by a hot mic.

Did art presage real life? You tell me.

Tomorrow, I'm going to be out of the house looking for Goatman instead of watching the debate. Maybe Hillary should skip it too. Or maybe she should walk out on stage, refuse to shake Donald's hand, say "This is for all the women in America" -- and spit in his face. Then she should simply walk away. The only ones who would blame her are people who would never vote for her.

We know that the rest of the campaign is going to be all about Juanita Broaddrick, Kathleen Willey and Gennifer Flowers. That's why this Mediaite piece is so amusing: They found an old Trump interview with Chris Matthews in which Trump defends Bill Clinton's wayward ways.

In 1999, according to this article in the New York Post, he told Chris Matthews he could never run for President because of his history with women. Here is what he said:

People want me to [run for president] all the time … I don’t like it. Can you imagine how controversial I’d be? You think about [Bill Clinton] and the women. How about me with the women? Can you imagine?

When Matthews joked about Monica Lewinsky by saying, “You might be close, but there’s no cigar,” Trump said, “They might like my women better, too.”

Trump was wiser then than he is now.

Look, we all make choices in life, and we all understand that our past decides our future. If you were once a stripper (male or female), you are never going to be president. If you have reported an encounter with Bigfoot -- or Goatman -- you are never going to be president. If you have ever used racial slurs in public, you are never going to be president. If you once wrote an article titled "Karl Marx was totally groovy!" you are never going to be president. And if you're the kind of guy who brags about grabbing the crotches of women you just met...

Oops. I came that close to saying something contrary to my motto, didn't I?

Added note: The smears never stop. The Gateway Pundit offers this headline:

WIKILEAKS BOMBSHELL: Racist Hillary Trashes African Americans – Calls Them Losers

The article is incredibly deceptive. The editors deliberately slice off the header to give readers a false impression of who actually wrote the message in question.

The actual email shows that Hillary wrote no such thing. Instead, the author was someone named Orca100 in the Netherlands. Hillary is not even among the recipients: The message was sent to various European writers for Politico and to someone at Media Matters.

Nor is there any indication that the message has anything to do with Hillary's server. We have, in short, no indication that the message had anything to do with Hillary Clinton.

The email contains a long piece on immigration (apparently written for publication) which goes on to praise the marvelous accomplishments of Jews. "One group of people has long outperformed all other Earthlings by such a bizarrely wide margin that it singlehandedly smashes this all-folks-are-equal myth into millions of smithereens."

Looks to me as though someone at Politico got placed on some sort of oddball mailing list. The original message obviously was written by one of those strange Jewish supremacists (yes, there really are such people) linked to Chabad. For all we know, Orca100 (whoever he or she is) may have been simply passing along an article which he considered outrageous.

Hell, all sortsa strange crap plops into my email inbox. Please don't presume that I agree with that stuff or that I even read it.