Ladies and gentleman, here it is: The single greatest headline since VE Day.
David Cameron Accused of Sex Act With a Dead Pig
I was looking for a sign -- a reason to go on blogging, a reason to go on living. Now -- for the first time in years -- all human endeavor suddenly seems to have purpose and meaning. Our culture, immensely faulted as it is, has managed to produce that headline.
What a glorious day! Even if the accusation is untrue, the glory remains -- for the British Prime Minister will have to issue a denial. And if he does, the headline will read: "David Cameron denies having sex with a dead pig." That headline will be almost as sublime as the first one.
I'm so happy, I could cry.
(In case you are wondering, there is a secret club at Oxford called the Piers Gaveston Society which supposedly requires members to fuck a dead pig's mouth as part of an initiation rite. Supposedly. And supposedly, Cameron had to do the deed to join the group.)
15 comments:
I remember a running joke in college about pig fkers. I didn't know they were real. It has also made my blogging day.
This isn't the first initiation ritual associated with these elite secret societies which requires the pledge (if that's the term used here) to commit some bizarre, sexually-themed act of perversion. I've read that Skull & Bones members are forced to lie in a coffin while reciting in detail their entire sexual histories and masturbating. Of course, it should be mentioned that there's not much in the way of corroboration or substantiation behind any of these claims, but subjecting would-be members to acts of this nature would certainly go a lonw way towards inspiring loyalty in the future should anyone have a change of heart.
I think in order to be truly accepted within the ranks of the ruling class one must prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the masses are nothing more than cattle, and this type of disdain for society at large is prerequisite to being accepted within the club. Whether it's robbing the masses blind through shady banking practices or burying them in debt to pay for tax cuts and wars which both exclusively benefit the wealthy, there are certain "crimes" which are celebrated and will go unpunished by the powers that be.
The way I used to try to discern the motives behind the Bush administration's machinations was to imagine the worst, most cynical possible motive...then I'd double it. More often than not I still aimed too low. I think this is the method best suited to divining what our rulers are actually up to these days, too.
In short, I wouldn't be surprised if the pig story is true, and I'm curious what, if any, will be the punishment for the author of this book.
See the British TV show "Black Mirror" the plot of a 2011 episode being this:
"Princess Susannah (Lydia Wilson), a much loved member of the Royal Family, is kidnapped and the ransom demand is an unusual one; Prime Minister Michael Callow (Rory Kinnear) must have sexual intercourse with a pig on live national television. As the time starts to run out and public support rapidly disappears, Callow finds he may have no choice but to go through with the obscene act."
It all turns out a bit more complicated that that, but in event. Ah, the black arts.
I'm disappointed. Our conspiracy kooks have really dropped the ball on this one. I have yet to find a single website which connects piggate with the pedophilia scandal.
Also, one of the leading Rothschild family members is known to have belonged to the Piers Gaveston society. So where are the claims that Mossad is behind all of this?
The society was named after Piers Gaveston, the Earl of Cornwall in the 13th century who is said to have been a lover of Edward the II. Remember the poor fellow whom Patrick MacGoohan dropped out of the window in "Braveheart"? That guy was based on Piers.
(Even though MacGoohan was playing the BAD guy, that scene caused gay people everywhere to accuse Mel Gibson of condoning the murder of gay men. This accusation was, of course, manipulative horseshit. It's like claiming that Star Wars condones blowing up planets.)
There's a lot here for conspiracy buffs to play with. Hop to it!
Reminds me of the time Tony Blair, under his middle names Charles Lynton, was supposedly arrested for cottaging.
Tories are a very perverted bunch. Older persons may remember David Mellor being caught with a prostitute and an orange stuck in his gob.
Sir James George Fraser's Golden Bough mentions pigs being holy in ancient Egypt, and therefrom derives their abhorrence in Judaism and related faiths, in that fiddling with the divine is often unwise.
thanks joseph.. ditto james comment up above.. james #2..
Elite Deviance. Never goes out of style, from the Romans right through the present.
I suddenly flashed on an old (1975) movie called "Conduct Unbecoming" about the court martial of a British officer in India. Spoiler: We learn that a cabal of officers have been raping women while ritualistically calling them "pig...pig...PIG!"
Surely one of our fine American conspiracy theorists can do something with this. C'mon, guys...I'm giving you GOLD here.
Imagine my disappointed to discover that the greatest headline since VE Day is not "Scott Walker Drops Out". A swine one-upped by a dead pig.
Welcome back!
Don't make me laugh so hard. I can't take it.
Surprised you didn't mention Lyndon Johnson wanting to use that very headline against an opponent. Not because it was true, but he'd have to deny it.
This is probably true though.
@Anonymous at 2:48 pm
For the reaction of Charlie Brooker, creator of Black Mirror, see this story.
This gets better when Maz's link contains a link to The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.
I think the pig was on Jeffery Epstein's flight with Bill Clinton and Courtney Love... when pigs fly...
-j
Am I the only who felt like ..so. To begin with I think the upper class in Britain are all perverts. I just don't think what the big deal is. I want people to concentrate on the real scandal. Why not investigate the payoff resulting from joining that club that he is willing to do anything to join. that will be interesting
James is spot on here. This is typical elitist culture and behavior. One must prove oneself to be above (or below) normal morality to remain in the club. Rituals composed of disgusting acts are a prerequisite to attain the upper levels of society. See Richard Nixon's comments regarding the ceremonies in front of the great horned owl at the Bohemian Club's annual meetings. But he kept going back anyway, until he was fired. George W. Bush and John Kerry are both members of Skull and Bones. Don't think about it.
Conspiracies? The theory has been advanced that Cameron is being fired by the British military and the intelligence services for not being militant enough. His "incompetence" caused the loss of votes in parliament which would have allowed UK participation in the lovely little genocide in Libya and another chance to play with the big boys. At the upper levels the sacrificed pig is replaced by a human child. And yes, Joseph, there is a connection.
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