I'll tell you this: I HATE the East Coast. The easiest way to make me chuckle would be to drop a bomb on Baltimore. The people here would rather eat Boric Acid than say "please" or "thank you." I'm sick of these lowlife dimwits and their endless, ENDLESS cigarettes and their ill-drawn tats and their wifebeater shirts and that look of incomprehension they give me whenever I use words of more than two syllables.
Worse, they simply won't leave me alone. Every single time I venture out of my attic, people I've never met hurl insults at me -- for no reason. True, it has been some years since I was on friendly terms with a mirror, but at least in California, I could leave home and walk around town without being treated like Quasimodo.
The East Coast still feels like a foreign country. Years ago, I spent a few weeks in Canada, and soon felt quite at home there. But this place is...alien. It isn't home. And if the people here won't treat me as a fellow human being, I see no reason to have a differing stance toward them.
Sorry. I'm bitter. Just can't think about politics right now.
Added note: I'm embedding the greatest scene in film history -- the nuclear destruction of Baltimore from the film The Sum of All Fears. The second greatest scene in film history may be found in Silence of the Lambs, when Hannibal Lecter confronts the Senator:
Dr. Lecter: Amputate a man's leg, and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, mum, when your little girl is on the slab, where will it tickle you?
Senator: Take this thing back to...Baltimore!
36 comments:
I'll stay out west, thank you.
Never saw the appeal of living back there. Maybe visit because there is a lot to see and do, but frankly, that would be it for me.
The western U.S. is SO much better. I will DIE out here.
at this point Im inclined against mossad involvement , looks like more of a rogue geller fronted screw up. or maybe thats the same thing
dont like the walid shoebat/eiad salameh shoebat link to nakoula tho, implies some thing heavy and foreign to DOJ. No one forges an Israeli passport and travels back and forth w/o approval.
But u have to ask Jimmy Israel who was it that brought the crew together, alan roberts, jimmy israel, and jeffrey dickenson, and who was steven goldberg or goldenberg mentioned by cindy davis linked to robinson.
and is jimmy israel now saying Nakoula is sam basil when he said otherwise to vice?
and have himn lay out the entire timeline of participants, casting calls, pre production payments, permits, whose names r on the la permit, did he work with media for christ from the beginning?
dang, I hate this story.
plus do we know jimmy israel is jimmy israel, and who is he speaking for ? if hes the real deal he'll give us the timeline and start naming names. otherwise its probably a pack of half truths and deceptions.
key is if he says Nakoula is Basil now, echoing the new orthodoxy coming from doj out on the us gov arabic speaking radio channels.
dont blame him, hes probably under duress from doj just like nakoula at this point. facing jail time.
Actually, you're right to this extent -- the Israeli intelligence community is factionalized. So one probably should not speak of "Mossad" involvement, as I have done. Former Mossad leader Efraim Halevy seems to be no Romney fan, and his successor Meir Dagan does not seem eager for war with Iran. I know nothing about whoever is running Mossad right now. That said, I take seriously the report that Netanyahu will do what it takes to get Romney elected. And we know that these guys run unaswerable "off the shelf" operations. For example, "The Other Side of Deception" is the story of a series of such operations, run by Halevy outside of Mossad proper.
What you have to realize about the east coast is that derision is generally a form of affection here.
They can keep their affection. I feel like I'm living out a reverse version of Forrest Gump -- I'm the only person of normal intelligence in a world of mental defectives.
Baltimore calls itself "charm city." My ass.
As to the "The Other Side of Deception". I am the only person I know that knows about this information: Israeli intelligence, or factions thereof, put a transmitter in Libya to point The Finger at Libya for the Discotheque bombing. What a sad statement re the knowledge base of your average, or even above average, American citizen. No wonder WE are so easily fooled.
Sorry you have to live in Yankee land, but it can't be any worse than living mostly in Oklahoma and Alabama for a total of nigh on 57 years. P.S. I'm a "truther", and you rock! Check you site FIRST everyday.
Sorry about your citizen troubles, Joseph. I've been there. Get some new thrift store clothes, dress like they do, that will help. Watch how they walk, how they carry themselves, try not to stick out. Also, watch your sidewalk manners. Pay attention, step aside, don't get in people's way. All that should help.
Also, don't wear white after Labor Day. I'm not kidding!
I just don't know what part of Baltimore you are describing. I can't wait for my closing. Little old white ladies nickname me and my dog things like "bubbles" or "giggles," AA neighbors nickname me "Miss Lady" and/or "Hillary" and try to fix me up with their white friends, and hispanic shop keepers call me "Mami" and teach me more Spanish. People paint jaw-droppping murals on buildings and dye their hair in blinding colors (it took me a while to realize Comic Con was in town because those costumed looked like many of the natives) ---and they race robots and horses and hold the Grand Prix downtown! Charm City? Every other little brownstone has exposed brick walls or peaked skylights or transoms with wavy glass or a fireplace in the bathroom. Sure, there are more than a fair share of rats and boarded up buildings, and maybe some brat did scratch the hood of my car when I was photographing some murals, and a real estate agent did tell me I was clearly "not faint of heart," but I have a high tolerance for grumps and brats when there is so much quirk and art and history at hand. Maybe if you complained about the weather, I could understand. The provincial attitudes of each of the neighborhoods reminds me of Boston some 20 years ago, but that will change. Have you visited the Visionary Art Museum? That would cheer even the most dour.
The West is the best, sir. Please do not shoot or run over any locals on your way to the airport.
Zee, what I'm about to say may sound racist. Hell, maybe it IS racist. Or reverse racist. I just don't care at this point.
The thing is, I'm very poor. Have been for a while.
In L.A., when you're very poor, you live surrounded by Hispanics. I LIKE Hispanics. I miss them. They leave you alone. When they do interact with you, they are usually quite cordial.
In Baltimore, if you are very poor, you live among white trash. There's no other term for it. I'm sorry, but I'm just not used to these lumpenprole shitheads. EVERYONE -- freaking EVERYONE SMOKES HERE. They are ALWAYS dressed in wifebeater t-shirts and baggy short pants. And they all -- ALL -- sport the lousiest tats ever inscribed on human skin.
And these white trashy lumpenprole Batimorons are STUPID beyond imagination. You can call them "imbecilic poltroons" to their faces and they won't take offense because they won't know the meaning of those words. That's not hyperbole -- I've made the experiment, repeatedly.
Everyone outside of Califronia thinks that Los Angelenos are self-absorbed and superficial. Oh yeah? I was never called fat or ugly in all the time I lived in California. But here, I CANNOT LEAVE THE HOUSE without being ridiculed and humiliated by hideous white trash subhuman dolts with two-digit IQs.
I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE. I HATE THESE PEOPLE.
And I can't even buy a goddamned beer at a goddamned supermarket here. You have to go to overpriced ultra-sleazy liquor stores that look like they probably also sell heroin, C4 and kiddie porn out of the back room.
"Sum of All Fears" is now my favorite film. In fact, I'm going to embed a scene from that movie -- the greatest scene of all time -- into this very post. So I can watch it while masturbating.
I hear ya, Joe. While I was born and lived my first 26 years in Illinois (hence the screenname) I've lived in the West (is the Best) for coming on 42 years now--first L.A. and now Burque-- and as far as I'm concerned everything east of Illinois can drop into the Atlantic and good riddance!
I spent 18 of the longest months of my life in NYC and thought I'd died and gone to heaven when I moved to L.A. in 1970. (And if my beloved L.A. hadn't turned into a warmer and sunnier NYC by the early 1990s I'd still be there.)
LoL, L.A. was heaven in the 70s. I didn't realize it. At the time, I bewailed the then-current state of my city because the older generation kept telling me that L.A. had gone downhill after the 30s, when it was REALLY heaven.
But in the '70s, even though I was a very poor kid from the valley, life was easy, inexpensive, and fun. There were lots of free film screenings at UCLA and elsewhere -- also, I got in free at the "art" theaters because I befriended people who worked there. And there were great libraries and art galleries and museums and concerts, all for free or cheap. I met tons of famous people and really interesting not-quite-famous people. And even the dummies were smarter than the Baltimorons I have to deal with now.
"LoL, L.A. was heaven in the 70s. I didn't realize it. At the time..."
It WAS heaven and I did realize it then (& if you'd told me back then that one day I would leave L.A. I would have told you that you were out of your fucking mind.)
Can't begin to tell you how I miss our beloved L.A. and those great days--but I wouldn't be telling you anything you don't already know, would I?
Anyway, I'm still in the West--in a town that's known as "Little L.A." because of all the L.A. ex-pats living here--a goodly part of Hollywood relocated to New Mexico in the early to mid-2000s (and moved back to L.A. when the recession hit, though Breaking Bad and In Plain Sight were shot here, and a good deal of Johnny Depp's Lone Ranger was as well).
In fact, in the newer parts of town, specifically the wealthy NE Heights in the foothills of the Sandias, the street names are pure L.A. I don't venture up that way any more than absolutely necessary, but IIRC there are streets named Wilshire Boulevard and Santa Monica Boulevard etc.
Sounds like the result of a parking space confrontation.
I take the bus, Mike.
That's another thing. Young women on the buses here never refer to their husbands or boyfriends. It's always "Muh baby's daddy."
It's different in L.A.
http://www.crazydaysandnights.net/2012/09/a-letter-from-scared-actress.html
That's one of the actresses in "the film".
She played "Hilary", apparently "Bassil" had a foreign accent and most of the script wasn't in English. Apparently George and Hilary were leaders of an ancient Egyptian cult fighting for a meteorite. Sounds quite good.
Director was called Alan Roberts.
She talks quite q bit about "the craft", might make you think back to your days in La-La Land.
Here's the thing, Steverino. By this point, we've all read a lot of stories about how the actors and even the director had no idea that this movie was about Mohammed and the origins of Islam. To me, these people are all beginning to sound like the piano player in the whorehouse. ("I just play the piano. I got no idea what's goin' on upstairs.")
Well, what about the modern-day framing story, about Muslims persecuting Copts?
At least one actor has revealed that they had to loop lines where they talked about "Mohammed."
If you look carefully at the film, you'll see that there are some UN-lopped lines which reference Islam.
Above and beyond all that...are you telling me that these actors really thought that this movie was about an ancient prophet named GEORGE?
Really? REALLY? They bought that? GEORGE?
If those actors (and the director!) claim that they had no idea what was going on, they were the -- and I do mean THE -- DUMBEST crew ever assembled. They achieved a truly Baltimorian level of moronicity.
C'mon. Who are they kidding?
I think the cast must have figured out what was happening. Many of them were from a circuit of actors who play in evangelical productions -- they would have been prejudiced against Islam all along.
Certainly the director knew. This absurd "piano player in the whorehouse" defense is a post-facto cover story that "Bacile" concocted for their protection.
You know how I know this? Because the film was originally conceived by Ali Sina, and he spoke months ago about the need to protect the crew from retaliation.
Funny, I had the exact opposite experience when I lived in L.A. for a couple years. I felt like I had moved to a foreign country.
Got called insulted by my nearly brain dead neighbors on an almost daily basis (yes, white trash can be found everywhere in the USA), people were generally not nice at all (except the Mexicans, as you pointed out, who I admit were nicer than just about any people I've ever met in my life), and I found the climate......well, unpleasant. Then there was the fires, that made me think the apocalypse had already arrived. The earthquake (Northridge) that I got to experience (thankfully not one of the really big ones). Mudslides, smog, traffic.........and taking the bus! Oh my god, never have I had such horrific experiences on the a bus as I did in L.A., and I've been on buses in Philly, NYC, and D.C. Heard the "baby daddy" reference there all the time. This was back in the 90's. You couldn't pay me enough to live out West (well, maybe somewhere more rural I could deal with if the money was extravagant enough).
Nope, I like to have weather and seasons. I can't really think of much I liked at all there....maybe a couple of beaches and being able to drive from mid 70's weather to 5 feet of snow in an hour or so.
Of course, I was born on the east coast and lived here most of my life, so it's not surprise that I'm more comfortable here. I'd probably be willing to give the west coast another try, as long as I was not poor and it wasn't anywhere near L.A.
I don't have much experience with Baltimore. Visited a couple times and it seemed nice enough for that. Not sure I'd want to live there though.
Joseph - so sorry to read of your discomfort and vexation with your surroundings - I can relate ( Brit in Oklahoma).
From Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land:
“I've found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much . . . because it's the only thing that'll make it stop hurting.”
But it's hard to do at times.
Joseph -sorry to hear you are facing the uglier side of the
East Coast. When I lived in NYC, it was refreshing that people were more forthright with their feelings heh.
In any case- my solution to povetry is when in doubt, find an artist community/neighborhood to situate.
That's how I can tolerate living in Texas (Austin)--it's much more open in my neighborhood,m and yes- I live with a lot of latinas. Good peeps.
Anyway- here is one artist community article about Baltimore:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/09/AR2010070902136.html
Don't know if it has what you are looking for, but - it might be worth looking into.
As for the info on the actors, I was wondering why you didn'[t post that- but maybe you found it to revealing or out of line. I wasn't sure if I should post it. It should also be noted that the same actress was quite inquisitive after the fact--as though she was anticipating the release with purpose.
If you took the time to review her personal FB page (not an english speaking FB page-cloaked), you will see that she had many VERY conservative, religious and political "likes"....
Someone really dropped the ball with that one.
I would also note that Robinson has a history with religious films. He seemed to evolve from campy b films to religious films. And well-I wouldn't be surprised if they engaged working with Israel purely for his name, but that may be a stretch.
Well enough of all that- and if you don't post this, fine- I don't need to post on the internet.
Good luck finding a niche in Baltimore!
kc
Sorry Anon but why should Joe have to go to a "Thrift store" and buy clothes to "Fit in?" Why should he tailor his"manner" to the lack of same by the people he encounters? Why should he be more "mindful" of his sidewalk etiquette, having to move aside when one of these idiots walks by, so as not to "offend?"
Bullshit!!
Why should he have to tailor his appearance, his speaking, his walking...everything that makes one a unique individual so as to conform to the Borg?
Hang in there brother Cannon and as for the sheep shit that you seem to have landed in...Fuck em all!
RD, thanks as always. Please get a blog back up ASAP.
Actually, I was a thrift store a couple of days ago. Bought the London Fog raincoat of my dreams for a little more than ten bucks.
In my part of town, people look at me strangely because they've never seen shirts with buttons before.
kc -- yeah, I've been smelling a rat with some of these crew folk, and you just made that smell all the stronger.
If I were you I will be extra craful to offend those people. They get angry easily and can smell disdain a mile a way and will react.
Those inner suburbs are very rough places. You would probably be better off in an inner city Ghetto than an outskirts ghetto. There are a lot of foreigners, and you need less money to get by.
The tattoo crew - americas lumpen proles, are a rough bunch. But believe me, the ones back home in the UK are rougher. Smaller (less body building), not as loud, and more likely to stab you. And more foul mouthed than you could imagine.
Harry
Idiocracy not sure if LA escapes that title though, especially after looking at the film resumes of the media clique out there. Seems everyone of them started off in some sort of soft-porn project , and then moved into teen horror /gaming, while occasionally trying to make something artsy. I get the feeling they all are playing angles in the idiocracy business , making money through tax cheat schemes rather than box office, congratulating themselves on their artistic creativity, while parroting the most conformist political correctness . Defintely better than baltimore though, was it baltimore where some white dude got lost , got robbed of all his clothes, and had to walk out of the hood pantless ?
A deep embedded racism that you can avoid in the immigrant communities.
heh, when do we hear from jimmy ?
New England's the place to live if you're on the east coast -- I say this as a born and raised New Yorker. Affordable here in western MA, with a ring of college towns, citizens who read books and plenty of high and low culture. To hell with unneighbourly insults.
On the Mossad front, the recently retired crew are largely moderate Labor party types and have long disdained Bibi. More useful to see Likud as an influential driver of the global warfare state, a sprawling coalition that stretches from General Dynamics and the thugs who used to b named Blackwater to Putin's secret police. Sometimes they rumble internally (ie Victor Bout) but they're all about selling arms and attack gadgets.
Well, Massachusetts has a lot going for it...my son sees it more than I do, as he's leaving Seattle to return there, but aside from our artistic communities I found plenty of unfriendly folks and white trash in New England. In fact, one of the factors in my leaving were the trash who took over my elderly neighbor's house which she willed to them. Whichever anonymous person advised you, Joseph, to be super nice to these people while giving them wide berth is correct. They are dangerous. These drug-dealing scammers kept telling me how they were "helping" my neighbor by taking over her monetary accounts, etc, never realizing how horrified I was nor how I tried to get authorities in there to assess the elderly lady's facilities.
The thing that slays me most, Joseph, is you have a gorgeous hound, Bella. Surely, however unacceptably galling your neighbors are to you, they are not cruel to her? Dogs are fantastic social levelers and ambassadors. Walking dogs is a great way to meet people. Please tell me they are not hateful when she is also present?! Unfathomable.
I have yet to venture to Dundalk, but was lmao at your depiction in a previous post. Your recent comment on your neighbors never having seen a shirt with buttons on it was cracking me up, too. Maybe you should channel your passionate loathing into a regular comic strip?
And anon #2 or whatever, not sure west is best...West Baltimore St makes me want to cry. I did hope to settle in Pigtown, but all the incentives were for other areas, alas.
Actually, there are lots of great dogs in this neighborhood. I happen to think that I have the noblest -- although she is usually the scruffiest, because she hates being groomed.
About Western MA: I checked out rents there via Craigslist. Surprisingly affordable!
Rich is onto something important. US assistance to Israel officially is 25% of their budget, but this leaves out us dod dod and homeland security contracts to israeli firms, or to subsidiaries of large multinational defense contractors often with subsidiaries in Israel. If the Likud agenda is correlated with the security complex agenda in Israel there is hardly surprising, because accounting for all these indirect subsidaireis probably means that the great majority of its so called 'high tech' industry are sucking at the tit of the fleeced american taxpayer. So while Israel has no economic incentive to a short victorious war, it has every incentive to a long drawn out, armed to teeth, smoldering hot peace, and this is exactly what we see in neocon likudnik foreign policy.
Succinctly put, without war, hatred, and terrorism, Israel's economy would consist of greenhouse agriculture and gay and jewish tourism.
Of course thats leaving out its major role in arms, human and narcotic traficking.
Good luck, if you do decide to relocate again, Joseph. I myself would choose L.A. in a heartbeat except I know maybe 2 people there, and my family's here. Western Mass is gorgeous, so long as you're cool with snow. The last few years it took me hours to painstakingly clear even short pathways and pile the snow up over my head...and that was in the Boston area....the west gets more snow. Baltimore seems a more dog-friendly town than Boston; not sure about western Mass.
Ahem. My doxie is not adverse to getting bathed. It's just that immediately afterwards he prefers to go roll in his choice of scent. Cadaver is his favorite, but excrement will do in a pinch.
I've never been to Baltimore but I have heard it is a rough city. Lots of crime. The nastiest place I ever lived was Boston. Lots of white trash and snobs to boot. Both groups looked down on me because I am from the Midwest. I have a PhD but they acted as if I was an illiterate moron. Thank you, Boston! L.A. is not my favorite place either. I'm a walker, not a driver. In L.A., you are nothing without a car. I love the Midwest. Joseph, if you want a clean, civilized liberal university town where people read and treat others with respect, I would suggest Iowa City. It's fantastic! Inexpensive, too.
(Sigh) Dwight Yoakam on Tavis Smiley right now (1:15 p.m MDT) talking about how wonderful it was to be in L.A. in the 70s and 80s. Also mentioned King's Western Wear in Van Nuys, which is where most of us cowgirls and boys bought our clothes back then, including my late friend The Lizard King.
P.S. In response to Anonymous the Walker, I don't think I've ever walked so much in my life as I did the 12 years I lived up the Silverlake Hills at the south end of the reservoir. I had an hour-long route mapped out and walked it every night without fail. It was especially wonderful in February at the height of the cool and often foggy rainy season when the calla lilies were in bloom. I used to come back with armloads of them. Diego Rivera, eat yer heart out...
Make that "up IN the Silverlake Hills..."
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