Monday, July 06, 2009

A vampire in heat

My period of semi-homeless wandering is coming to an end, and soon I will be back to annoy you good people on a regular basis. Do not fret for my hell-hound Bella: She is safe and has had to suffer little beyond the indignity of eating store-bought dog food.

I have something to report, having spent much time out of doors recently. It's hot. Very hot. And the sun is bad.

Some people do not comprehend this simple fact of existence. They LIKE to spend time in the sun. They spend time at the beach. They eat al fresco. They turn their caps around so that the visor does not shade the forehead. They pay extra to put sun roofs in their cars. They open the drapes wide to get as much sunlight into the room as possible. They cannot understand why someone would want to work at night and sleep in a dark room during the day. They think that a "sunny disposition" is a GOOD thing.

What is wrong with these people? Can't they comprehend the simplest facts of existence? Do they actually enjoy squinting and sweating and dealing with sunburn?

The sun is bad. BAD. Get that straight. Moon = good. Sun = bad. Cool = good. Hot = bad. Are we clear on that?

21 comments:

Nadai said...

You don't go far enough. It's not just the sun that's bad. Everything outside is bad. Outside is full of bloodsucking bugs, hungry fanged animals, allergenic pollen, sharp rocks lurking in the grass, and dog shit. The only reason to go outside is to get to and from your car. If I want to smell the flowers, I call FTD and have the suckers delivered.

Peter of Lone Tree said...

Moon = good.
Whatever you say.

Anonymous said...

I tend to agree, but you need the sun to produce vitamin d. Yes you can supplement with it, but unless you get d3, it just isn't the same, chemically, physiologically and sufficently. But then again you only need 20 minutes a day to produce 20,000 units. Supports brain health and a proper functioning immune system.

I avoid midday sun. yuck

clayton

Anonymous said...

I guess some people like skin cancer

Anonymous said...

amen - the hot and sunny thing is good..........If you're a lizard - H/t Bill Hicks _ Lived in the Tampa bay area for 7 years - they have twi seasons there Hell on earth, known as summer and Jan 3rd I moved to WV no go. I need to get to Maine or even Nova Scotia

Wisewebwoman said...

I learned this lesson a long, long time ago, Joseph. My mother died of a malignant melanoma at a young age.
I have great respect for the sun.
good luck with your move and re-settlement!
XO
WWW

Seth Warren said...

My sentiments exactly. The sun causes cancer - avoid it!

Gary McGowan said...

Pleased and relieved to hear you and the hell hound are O.K.

The state of the union in which you (presumably, still) reside is not, by all reasonable accounts. Arnold, the son of a Nazi (a literal documented fact) is running the rehearsal for a fascist America. It remains to be seen how long the citizens of the U.S.A. will tolerate increasing degrees of fascism.

Interestingly, though I was banned without warning from The Confluence a year ago for trying to alert people to what is happening (only some 20% of my posts there, I tried to tread lightly) Riverdaughter is now referring to the financier oligarchy in her posts. I think she's a great writer and a good person and a positive influence, she may well have had nothing to do with my banning there. To what degree she herself actually runs that site is a question I'm curious about.

That Joseph runs this site by his lonesome is one thing that makes it a great site--disagreements between him and myself not withstanding.

Best wishes, sir. Hope you're settling in to a home in the best sense.

16 1/2 degrees N. latitude here. I love the sun, but I spend as much time in air-conditioning as possible and bathe at least three times a day, too. Only about 83 degrees F here today < grin > But I grew up in the Valley, so I know about the heat.

LandOLincoln said...

I hear you. I'm a blue-eyed, fair-skinned redhead whose friends refer to me as the "little vampire" because I'm aways sidling into whatever shade may be available.

So Joe--my answer to daytime?

Sombreros. The wider the brim, the better.

Of course, I live in New Mexico, and don't give a damn if people think I'm an eccentric old lady, because I am. ;-)

Welcome back, btw. Missed ya.

Kathryn said...

oh I completely agree. moon good. sun bad. hate the heat. turn it down.

kenoshamarge said...

If the only problem is "sunburn" the morons basting themselves with sweet-smelling oils to bake in the sun are lucky.

A petunia with it's pink face turned to the sun is a good thing. A human being doing the same thing is not.

In time the sun takes it's toll and all those "sun" lines are baked into the now leathery face no matter how much "lubricant" is slathered on.

Zee said...

Awwwwww. You should've moved to New England, Joseph. We're becoming the new Northwest. It's rainy and cool again today!

And the full moon was gorgeous last night over the ocean!

Cascadia said...

Couldn't agree more, which is why I'm happy living in the Pacific Northwest. Nice, moderate temps all year round and many, many cloudy days.

Hope you get happily settled soon.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there, and if it helps, I still have the same Ole car, but yes it has a sunroof. :oops:

God speed, hoping you soon find that place that is just right for you. We need all creative people, we really do and artists are special treasures.

WV

Perry Logan said...

Why can't we all just be tepid together?

Unknown said...

I'm wondering how the Native Americans managed with all that sun - their faces full of sun-channels and wrinkles.

Edward Curtis took lots of photos of them. I wonder how many of them died of melanoma.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Clayton.

Actually, avoiding the sun totally causes more cancer risk than it avoids, since the Vitamin D the body cannot make except by exposure to UV rays helps prevent many, many cancers.

The rate of skin cancer has increased with the use of blocking agents, as their anti-burning blocking is in the UV spectrum required for Vit D production.

The more skin that is exposed the quicker one gets a clinically significant D production, so 20 minutes is probably fine if you expose your torso and legs (take off the shirt and wear shorts).

XI, state licensed nutritional counselor

djmm said...

Exactly, Joseph! I don't mind a little sunshine, as long as I am about 8000 feet above sea level. Preferably winter sun -- heat is so draining. (You only need about 15 minutes of Sun for the vitamin D by the way. No need to overdo it.)

Glad to hear you will be posting again! All my best to the lovely Hell Hound!

djmm

MrMike said...

You take off and all sorts of interesting things happen (Sarah Palin). Can't wait to read your take on it.

danny said...

The sun was instrumental in there being life on earth (how many friends do you have from the dark side of the moon?). It is the chemicals in sunscreen that cause skin cancer. I mean along with air and water, sunlight is a natural need.

DancingOpossum said...

The sun is wonderful, glorious sun, giver of heat and light and life...Heat is wonderful, even humidity is good for your skin and hair (so is seawater, which is best enjoyed if it's hot and sunny outside).

Don't get me wrong, I love the moon also, and its silver light, and cool weather, but I never feel I'm truly alive or myself until I can be out in the sun. Yes, I sunbathe, yes I am tanned, and no I won't stop.