CLINTON SUCKS! (Green Party, here I come!)

Jen here (maybe for the last time)...

Alright, that's it.  I give up.  I quit.

After enduring a lengthy, detailed and entirely too passionate speech by Bill Clinton yesterday, I have decided I can no longer do anything but all that I can to oppose the Clinton Takeover and the Democratic Party.

It wasn't enough that he had to make a genuine-sounding and almost convincing appeal to the audience to vote for Senator Clinton on both common-sense as well as emotional grounds. He had to act practically charismatic about it.  He had to appear sincere.  He had the audacity to try to make us feel totally good about the future and the name Clinton again.  It was outrageous.  Shameless. Unforgiveable.  

I mean, what was he thinking, promoting her campaign with actual oratory?  Style, grace and substance are so twentieth century.  I can't believe he thought it was going to work.  I bet he thought we even deserved that speech, that as intelligent, informed Democratic voters we were entitled to expect a quality argument, and to expect the Clinton team to be grateful if we felt they'd earned our support. Shocking.

Then he shook my hand, people—can you believe the nerve?  And it was a nice handshake. Right before he personally took a little card I'd made for him.  He took my card.  What an asshole, closet-Republican sleaze.

I bet he planned the whole thing.  Spent hours and hours, maybe even years, learning how to create the kind of presentation with the near-supernatural power to make even the most hardened, cynical, bitter, distrustful, raised-in-the-Reagan-bubble twenty-something think twice before walking away from the Clintons, and perhaps with the power to make her remember why she loved them both to begin with.  

What, like that's a hard thing to do?