War on Christmas? Not here!

Hi! I'm Wallace and I will be your guide to Christmas this season.

Let's start with my favorite new ornament, one which is sure to put you in the holiday mood -- the FETUS WITH A GUN! If there's a war on Christmas, this little feller is armed for the counter-attack...


But your foot soldier for Christ will need his holy hand grenade ornament to lob at America's enemies -- who, not being in His sight, shall snuff it.


Here are a few of my favorite ornaments...




Between the Elvis ornament, the Star Trek ornament, and the gun-totin' fetus, we have pretty much defined America.

"You want to brush my peepee? By all means!"


The fairy Jesus tree ornament. Popular in West Hollywood.

For the geek on your list.

I wonder if they still make these? Maybe they no longer have the balls...

More patriotic spirit...

Score for Jesus. "Tackle me not, for I am not yet ascended unto the Father..."

Let us never forget when Santa crossed the Delaware.

In the spirit of the season.

I've always liked this guy.


Christmas at Miskatonic...
I always like it when the Jesus imagery and the Santa imagery become "as one." This conflation is more common than you might realize...







A close study of America's Christmas ornamentation can teach you things about the national psyche that you'll never learn in years of college...

I'll be back with another spurt in a short while. Merry Christmas!