Sunday, April 01, 2007

Ann Coulter, the penis photos: An analysis

For quite a while now, I have received, on a daily basis, some highly unusual messages in my inbox. (If truth be told, most of them have to do with business opportunities in Africa.) But I may never have received a message quite so unusual as this one, sent via an anonymous remailing service:
I have had the unusual privilege if it can be called that of seeing Ann Coulter in the nude. In fact I have photographic proof of the encounter. I do not expect you to believe me especially since the photo does not contain her face but rest assured that this is real and all other features such as hands etc should match. I can also assure you that I was made fully aware, what shocked me were her comments about john edwards hence the reason I send this to you.
I present his photo here for what it is worth, and I apologize beforehand for the graphic nature of this image. (Clicking on the picture should reveal a larger version -- and before you dismiss too quickly, please scroll down to the other photos.)

Obviously, without the facial features, this image is nearly worthless as evidence. I have presented the image "as is" without attempting to smooth over the jpg artifacts, which, unfortunately, may hide some telling details. The general morphology, and the veins visible in the hands and arm, do match other Coulter images. The picture would appear to have been taken with a digital camera in a diffused, low-light situation. Beyond that, one can say no more.

Based on such "evidence" -- if it can be called evidence -- one can hardly conclude that Ann Coulter is a hermaphrodite. Of course, others have discerned what some consider sexual abnormality in Coulter's appearance and demeanor. You have no doubt already seen the image below, displaying what appears to be a very male Adam's apple.

Again, I consider the data insufficient. Even so, we must ask the question: If Coulter were a hermaphrodite, what characteristics should we expect to see?

Wikipedia informs us that there are, in essence, two forms of hermaphroditism which may appear in human beings:
Asymmetrical Gonadal Dysgenesis versus True Hermaphroditism

Gonadal dysgenesis generally refers to a condition where gonadal development is abnormal. It occurs in about one percent of mammals, including human beings. Asymmetrical Gonadal Dysgensis refers to a condition where the individual has one differentiated gonad (usually testis) and one streak. True Hermaphroditism is rarer in humans and refers to a condition where the individual has both ovarian tissue and testicular elements.[3] It is extremely rare for both sets of organs to be functional; usually neither set is functional. In humans, these manifestations are often altered (sometimes only cosmetically) to resemble standard male or female anatomy shortly after birth.
Alas, we find in this description nothing about the likelihood of a single individual possessing a penis, a vagina, and an Adam's apple.

I did not know how to proceed further with this investigation until I recalled the most intriguing development of the "Bush bulge" controversy, for which this blog was once well-known. As some of you will remember, NASA photo analyst Dr. Robert M. Nelson performed simple, standard photographic enhancements of the strange bulge on Bush's back, as glimpsed during the debates of 2004. His work revealed the unmistakable outline of a still-unexplained device beneath Bush's suit.

The great scientific advantage of Dr. Nelson's presentation is that he reveals his methods, and asks for his work to be replicated. I have therefore attempted to use similar techniques to uncover the truth about Ann Coulter.

We may refer to these photos as the "Coulter bulge."

Before proceeding, I ask any readers who suspect that I am dealing with altered original photos to compare the unenhanced images to the versions available at this Ann Coulter photo gallery, which appears to be the creation of a Coulter fan. You will see that the jpgs are essentially the same. In the enhanced close-ups, I have simply attempted to apply techniques similar to those employed by Dr. Nelson. Any reader with Photoshop is invited to use the same techniques.

The first example uses what I call the "yellow slacks" image:

As you will see, I did not have to apply the sharpening tool very aggressively to discover a shape that I had already suspected was there. (Before using the "sharpen" tool, I did apply a minor blur to soften the jpg artifacts, as is standard procedure when enlarging a small image.)

Our second example has been noted on these pages before, and has also appeared in on other sites. Unfortunately, the larger versions of this image which were once available have all disappeared (mysteriously?) from the net. When I enlarged the version here, the jpg artifacts were so pronounced as to render any enhancement techniques useless. Still, this photo did engender quite a bit of comment when it first made the rounds.

If any reader has a clearer copy, please let me know.

Finally, and most interesting of all, we have a high school photograph of Ann Coulter, originally published by a classmate.

Photographic enhancement proved surprisingly effective in this instance, although the unenhanced original shows the telltale "bulge" signature apparent in most other photographs of this area:

At the end of the day, am I convinced that this photographic evidence proves that Ann Coulter is a hermaphrodite? Hardly. Indeed, I believe that the preponderance of the evidence leads to the opposite conclusion.

Even so, one may posit that the deep-rooted gender confusion issues occasioned by hermaphroditism would go some ways toward explaining Ann Coulter's unusual stance toward gays -- befriending Matt Drudge yet insulting John Edwards as a "faggot."

I ask the readers, especially those with expertise in photographic analysis and/or gender issues, to continue this research.

Ultimately, we will not know the answer with any certainty until we receive a statement from Coulter herself. Perhaps someone can ask her to clarify this issue next time she appears on a listener call-in talk show.

The time has come for Ann Coulter to tell all doubters that she is wholly female and has been so since birth, despite appearances.
Thank you Joseph! And I haven't even eaten breakfast.

Does this mean Coulter did not have a sex change in the womb?

Of course, I know this is not an April fools day joke.
sofla said...

Pudenda deformation can be heartbreaking, but explains so much.

Luckily, we won't have to determine whether that is the case here to know that Coulter is not a natural blonde.
the cropt foto is obviously of a much more curvaceous natural-looking woman, which coulter sertainly is not.

Oh, and a really badly phtooshopped penis attached in the wrong spot. Where is the penis root? Why is the lighting different?

Isn't it enough that she's a bile spewing hack. I personaly wouldn't care if she had two dicks, but anything that hurts her repatation with her fans is fine by me.
oh good grief; that thing looks more like a super-glued dildo than a real thang. i'd be a bit wary that the email you received was planted to stir up the story that can conveniently 'victimize' the 'poor'... whatever the hell she is!
I have as much disdain for Ann Coulter as the next, sane person. But the alleged photographic "evidence" proves nothing to me. When it comes right down to it, it doesn't really matter what she is...aside from the fact that she's a pompous, invective-spewing zealot. Anything else is merely window dressing.
That's not an adam's apple. That's an obtuberant trachea.
Sorry, dude, I think you're crazy. She does look like an hermaphrodite, but that is because she starves herself. To be honest, I don't care if she's an hermaphrodite, cross-dresser, lesbian, or heterosexual woman; at the end of the day, she's a bitter instigator who is profiting from this administration's altruisms. She has bought in, and she's gonna slander Dems for as long as she's given a platform. Her statements on Edwards display perfectly the RNC's image. Republicans are cowboys, and Democrats are pussies. This is the bottom line; image is everything for the RNC. OK, too disgusted to continue.
Hermaphrodite? Can't say, at least not from those photos. And about those photos--I'm not sure what's scarier--what may be Coulter in the nude, or what is Coulter wearing leggings that just do not flatter her in any way.

I'm most inclined to think that the bulk of her craziness stems from major self-image issues that developed because she was a less-than-perfectly coifed young woman raised in a socially brutal environment, who got much needed approval from conservative groups during the '90s and then lost her shit completely after 9/11 and the subsequent Bush takeover. (One thing I wouldn't mind seeing you discuss (more of?) Joseph is what consequence, if any, Barbara Olsen's death on September 11th had on Coulter's life/"sanity"; it's long been my opinion that she didn't fully snap until Olsen, an alleged friend of Coulter's, died in the WTC attacks.)

Some of The Crazy also reminds me of what happens to folks who abuse amphetamine and methamphetamine. Or who don't stick to their psychiatric medication regimen too reliably. If Ann Coulter leaves the public eye, I think it's most likely going to be after a suicide, possibly as the result of misuse of one of these substances. And even without possible drug involvement/gender dyspohoria issues, s/he is such a mess.
Joe you are a sick puppy. But thanks a million, I needed a good laugh.
wholly female and has been so since birth, despite appearances

You seem to have a lot of issues about gender, Joseph.

If Coulter were born intersexed, but raised as a girl, the notion of being "wholly female" is not one that would be relevent. Back when she was growing up it would have been automatic to raise children to conform to a single gender stereotype (whether it was the most appropriate one for the child or not), rather than tolerating any ambiguity.
Sorry, the first photo looks like her "member" is glued on in the wrong place - too high. The HS photo could just as easily be something in her pocket besides a gun, that is.

I've never thought she was a hermie. I think she was born fully MALE. She's a trannie who's probably waiting to have her final surgery to remove all the evidence contained in the yellow pants.
Hey heer's something about the opposite of Coulter... Rosie!! and normally i could care less about ROsie or that show with the nattering hens (whatsitcalled? the view?), and for that matter don't usually care much about Prison Planet-- but yesterday was pure gold and now i gotta say Rosie Kicks Ass! (and i think if she & coulture were in a cage match, she would kick he/she's sorry but all over the cage) (((ok, even if there is a Rosie/Tranny bit at the end of the second clip... but i do look forward to her getting those Harvard & Yale physics experts on the show...))
So the belief that the twin towers came down with the aid controlled demolition is cwazy and discredits this site. But examining anonymous UFO crotch photos of an unidentified person wearing something that looks like a fake dick is somehow scientific???

I don't understand this blog sometimes.
Ann Coulter is a beautiful woman regardless of how God made her, and has more brains in her head than all the devilcrats combined! I would marry her in a heartbeat! -Les Little
Ann is smoking hot!
She is a passionate and very intelligent babe.
I would love to marry a woman who's similar in stature.

ann is hot and needs a man.

Hmmmm, Ann appears on the Bill Maher quite often, and Bill says to her "we have alot in common." What does he mean by that. Come on people lez be liberalistics.
I need larger image to judge , I am a capable artist and can see what is there and what is not there . Nude image much larger , would help . The one looks like one half of a , photo shop image of twins or are they? with exact penis , mirror image to try to fake you out . look at this photo in a mirror and find and locate the "twins" , at five shemale sites , look at images in a mirror . Adams apple , look at TV show Ally Mcbeal . The jeans are a mans jeans , extra cloth for mans bulge , many women enjoy no wedgy , you seam goes in the labia slot , sometimes wrong fit masturbation happens . Large real nude photos would help , photo shop has border markers a greasy blur where so called penis shaft connects with female flesh .
I found the images of photo shop twins how can I send them to Cannonfire with endless sign up process or is there a email contact , I can to whom ever runs blog . I getting nowhere with the sign in , I click and glitch sends me back to cannonfire home page ??????????
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