Wednesday, November 30, 2005

A glimpse of the hidden Ann Coulter

(Sorry for not posting yesterday. A personal matter commanded my attention.)

When Brad Friedman published his first "guest blog" by Lydia Cornell, the author and actress best-known for her role in Too Close for Comfort, I sent Brad a private message telling him to do whatever he could to promote this lady's work.

This is just the sort of person we need on our side, I told him. She's the anti-Coulter. Smart, creative and appealing. Warm where Coulter is cold. Genuinely spiritual -- as opposed to Coulter's strange and acidic religiosity. In short, Lydia seems nice.

The obvious contrasts must have grated on Coulter (who, as some of you may recall, once ducked out of the second half of a radio debate with Brad Friedman). Instead of ignoring Cornell's column, Coulter responded by publishing a childish tirade -- and by printing Lydia's personal contact information, including her phone number, on her own page.

Most telling of all: She actually insulted Lydia's looks: "Well, death is certainly sexier than Lydia Cornell."

Before proceeding, let's make something quite clear.

The first two images show Ann Coulter.

These are two pictures of Lydia Cornell.

My girlfriend's first response: "Ann Coulter looks like she had her last face lift done by a Mack truck."

Now, this blog does not usually print snide remarks about personal appearance. Who am I to judge? I'm the epitome of ursine scruffiness, and I never met a lasagna I didn't like. In truth, most of us are unlovely. Go to (say) any crowded DMV in any working class neighborhood, tote up the number of good-looking individuals, and you'll find that perhaps 90% of the human race is something other than a natural friend to the camera. Yet there's a lot of love and sex out there; somehow, human beings keep finding ways to tolerate pandemic homeliness.

The trouble is, some don't easily tolerate our natural tendency toward homeliness -- at least, not when the evidence is displayed in the mirror. A certain type of person cannot hide the fact that he or she wants to be considered much more comely or handsome than is actually the case. That's always been the sad thing about Coulter: She dresses like someone who desperately longs for bombshell status, as though wrapping that hideous skeletal frame in black leather micro-minis will somehow make those prominent bones as jumpable as they are countable.

Suddenly I feel sad for Ann Coulter. I won't publish her phone number and other personal info, even though I have the data to hand and I'm just ornery enough to do that sort of thing. Her remark was much more self-revelatory than she intended: She's trapped in there, and doesn't want to be.

That's why she devotes her life to spewing venom. Even if every liberal vanished, she'd no doubt spend her time finding something to hate instead of something to celebrate. Odium is her junk; spewing insult is her way of shooting up. For most of us, life is a stew occasionally flavored by love and occasionally peppered with hate. For Coulter, hate is the only ingredient.

That's why she wants death for anyone who does not believe as she does. That's why she uses Jesus as though he were an Uzi. That's why this hard-drinking, hard-smoking, bed-hopping Femme-Domme still pretends to be a "Christian."

Consider one of her most infamous Coulterisms: "Saying 'Merry Christmas' is like saying 'Fuck you!'" Look carefully at the phrasing: Not only does she define Christianity purely in terms of attacking others, the statement carries characteristic overtones of bizarre sexuality. What kind of mind takes pride in such a sentiment? How does Ann propose to explain those words to Jesus? If you went back in time twenty, forty, fifty years and repeated that statement, everyone -- and I mean every single person, regardless of his or her politics -- would think you had gone nuts.

One doesn't need a degree in the psychoanalytic arts to see the mechanisms at work in this mind. There's one person Ann hates more than she hates any liberal: Herself.


Anonymous said...

oh my. the comparison is just so stark. and coulter's response so utterly transparent. even more transparent than she is.

i remember the first time i saw her on cnn; i was so thoroughly shocked it left me speechless. i wondered if i'd managed to keep myself as insulated as i had before i learned who martha stewart was. partially true; i just didn't expose myself to places that exposed her.

i promptly wrote cnn an aghast letter, pointing out that if my daughter spewed venom like that on ANYONE, i'd slap her silly; and she's a grown woman. what kind of model are we presenting here?

it has always astonished me that all these self-proclaimed 'family folk' are so enamored with the creepiest and cheesiest the world has to offer. like ann colder. and rash limburger. and falufa (or was it falafel?) bill. and sean insanity. and...

sorry, i just cannot go on. i am overcome with sadness (and not just a little schadenfreude) from recognizing ann's condition, and her fate.

Joy Tomme said...

Here's the thing.

Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly have no deep-seated poliical convictions.

They are sadists.

They only seek to enrage so that then they can mske hateful remarks and eviscerate their opponents with personal comments. They do NOT want to make political hay, they only want to enrage.

They are serial killers without balls.

They have won when we get so mad we can hardly speak.

When do we win? By turning our backs and ignoring them.


Unknown said...

Spot on, sir. Well done.

Anonymous said...

"They are serial killers without balls."

It's interesting that someone would choose to use this characterization to describe Ann and her ilk. I'm not a health professional, but I've spent some time reading about sociopathy the last few months. I think many on the right might actually be sociopaths. Not a few, many. Especially those with a reasonable amount of power within the Administration and the media. I like the fact that Joseph recognizes the obvious self-hatred Ann suffers from, which is nothing less than all consuming, but sometimes I think that simply pointing out that these people hate themselves doesn't go far enough. They're not just assholish, they're pathological.

Anonymous said...

The notion that right-wingers are sociopaths -- or, at the least, driven by unacknowledged conflicts and pathologies -- shouldn't be news.

Look at the major right-wing convergences throughout history, and it's a picture of countries gone collectively mad.

There is no equivalent sickness on the liberal left. "We" produce Paul Krugman and Frank Rich, models of reason and deliberation, not Coulters or O'Reillys. The same could be said of Noam Chomsky -- the message may be unpalatable to some (and it certainly is to "liberals"), but the reasoning is impeccable, and the facts are checkable.

Coulter and O'Reilly owe their megaphone to one peculiarity of our system -- mega-corporations. If not for that distortion in the marketplace of ideas, they'd be nothing but self-destructive bar flies. As would GWB.

Fans and Friends of Lydia Cornell said...

I just sent you a personal e-mail, but I will repeat: Your writing is wickedly brilliant! And thank you for the flattering comments -- although I hate to make fun of anyone's personal appearance. Even Voldemort

Anonymous said...

Bravo. Your words tend to ease my contempt for her. (Coulter) Though not quite enough to allow her any benefit of doubt. In a time when healing and peace are sorely needed Ann throws fuel on fire. She's a dangerous woman to our society - any society.

Keep it up Cannon.

nolocontendere said...

Very, very good dissection.

Anonymous said...

"They are serial killers without balls."

Except for Ann -- my "diagnosis" is that SHE has them -- or did until recently. I am surely not against transexuals -- but I'm very much against the public attack on women. Truly sick.

Anonymous said...

The idea that right-wingers are atoning for (or sublimating) some deep personal shame or deficiency, is new only in the U.S.

People who have lived through it -- as in Europe -- know full well that the ideology is a magnet for the mentally ill, a codified expression of all their anger, frustration and shame.

And all the while they insist their Martyrs of the Age -- despite aligning themselves with the richest and most powerful interests in the world, and drawing a salary for it. Poor Bill, Poor Ann.

Anonymous said...

Great post. The only thing I take issue with is that you "feel sad for Ann Coulter." Please do not feel sad for this "woman." She is despicable, hateful, vile, and incredibly stupid. I switch channels any time I see her on TV. I simply cannot stand her. I would use filthy language to describe her, but I don't want to do her the honor of upsetting another liberal.

My parents raised 8 kids and taught us never to hate anyone, but I must tell you that I hate this woman with all my heart.

Anonymous said...

wow -- people on Lydia's site are really having a fight over Cornell and Coulter, they're obsessed with both women. Someone told me to come here and see the difference. Amazing. I am sick of extremists and hate-speakers. god Bless you and Lydia... keep it coming.

Anonymous said...

Is it true that some republican trolls have automatic links to lib sites and they send out sick comments to make libs look insane, as if we would ever want to rape this person... as she said on O'Reilly while wearing a cross of Jesus around her neck last night. It's great that you have that word verification thing on your site so the big machine can't submit comments automatically. We are truly living in an Orwellian age.

Anonymous said...

I'll be honest... I haven't been especially up to date lately in keeping tabs on political pundits, and Ann Coulter is relatively new to me (despite the fact that she's apparently been around since the Paula Jones incident). From what I've read about her today, though, I think it's safe to say I'm not a fan at all. However, to claim that the left doesn't produce people like her and O'Reilly is just blatantly false. I identify as liberal, yet every public remark and appearance of Michael Moore makes me want to cringe. Even if he doesn't as frequently spew as vile remarks about conservatives as Ann does about liberals, he still takes everything way too far and equally matches her disrespect for facts and sources in the name of propaganda. And he's not the only one. Criticize her without lauding us liberals, please. We can be just as bad.
-Alex (I don't have an account here, so no blogger name, sorry)

Anonymous said...

It is reassuring to read so many posts that reconfirm my feelings about Ann Coulter. She is a disgusting snotrag of a person who has really serious mental issues. I think she displays many signs of substance abuse; my guess being crystal methamphetamine. This creature is most definitely 'out there'. And I agree with others that these neocon right-wingers are sociopaths - - and dangerous ones at that. I refuse to watch or listen to Ann Coulter whenever her unnerving presence finds its way onto television or radio. Her days of venom spewing are numbered, and her fate is sad indeed. Jim T in Boston (Satan's Spawning Ground, was it?!)

Anonymous said...

They say we get the faces we deserve.

True or not, Coulter sure got hers.

And Lydia, must be one heck of a good person, because she got the face Coulter wanted.

Larry said...

Do they hate Lydia Cornell because of her stand against the war?

Do they hate Lydia because she writes with creativity and insight?

Do they hate Lydia because she speaks peace in a forest of

Do they hate Lydia because she took a stand against the hateful venom of Ann Coulter?

Maybe they hate Lydia because she has the looks and the career that in their youth, they always dreamed of.

Maybe it is all of the above that drives extreme right to do what they always do and try and destroy any opposition.

Erico said...

Ann Coulter was the one that digged up the old tapes about Jerameya Right,agains Obama.
Then started saying is was the Clinton Camp that has put them out there.
She is like the Muslims, when it comes to, it they hide.
Covered shits.

Anonymous said...

You are an idiot and look like one too. Great post.

electra said...

To the anonymous so called liberal who said Micahel Moore was an equal to Hannity, Beck, O'Reilly, Limbaugh, Coulter, etc etc etc. You gave no facts to say Moore distorts facts, you gave no examples. You made an accusation that he "takes things too far" (specifically what, for example) and that he lies. Would you like to back up such reckless observations with actual examples, specifics, or facts? Because that is what the right, you know.

electra said...

Coulter's voter registration says she was born in 1961. Her drivers license says 1963. Either way, she lied on a federal offical document.

Felony? Voter fraud? Either way: illegal.