The citizen soldier and the professional soldier

I never served, there being no wars when I was a young man.

In the 19th and early 20th centuries, the lack of hostilities was considered a perfectly honorable reason not to pick up the gun. In recent times, however, military fetishists often sneer at those who prefer peaceable work during peacetime. We are accused of a lack of patriotism -- and lack of manliness.

These apostles of the warrior lifestyle have assured me that a stint in the service would have rendered me "born again hard." That's a common motif in the sales pitch: The concept of "hardness." The other words militarists fixate upon are "balls" and "asses." I've heard such phrases as "Grab 'em by the balls, and their hearts and minds will follow." Military guys seem to like making reference to "whipping asses." They like declaring that another person's "ass is mine." There was even the prophetic "We're going to liberate their asses," offered by one usenet commentator at the opening of the Iraq war.

I never understood why military propagandists obsessed on such terminology. I always liked soft things -- such as the ultra-curvy women scampering through the paintings of Frazetta. I never saw Guadalcanal Diaries, but I did see every damn movie Jennifer Connelly ever made. One day, I may publish my frame-by-frame analysis of the roller-skating sequence in Career Opportunities.

Frankly, I could never understand why the macho men of the U.S. volunteer forces could not get through three consecutive sentences without making reference to balls, asses, and hardness.

Now we know. The secret is out.

At least one of the Abu Ghraib photos apparently shows servicemen having sex with each other. Even if this is a heterosexual coupling (Lynndie and her born-agin' paramour, perhaps?), we are getting more reports that male prisoners were raped.

Believe it or not, such revelations have me reconsidering my opposition to the draft. (Of course, I'm now of an age where I can do so safely.)

The reluctant citizen-soldier -- Tom Hanks' character in Saving Private Ryan, or maybe my dad in Korea -- represents America at its best. Such fighters know that they are just doing a temp job. They want nothing more than to get home to their wives and girlfriends.

By contrast, the professional soldier is an unusual creature. From Achilles to Ernst Rhoem, men have been attracted to a "band of brothers" for reasons that went beyond patriotism. Maybe such men would be better off in counselling sessions, where they can learn to deal with their true selves.

And maybe there will be fewer wars if war is fought by citizens picked at random.