Why the donation button on the right side of this page? I'm entering politics!
There has been a great deal of talk about redoing the election which ended in victory for congressperson-elect George Santos, disgraced for lying about every iota of his life history. Not only that, he'll be facing more than one investigation into his shady finances.
If a new election comes to pass, I intend to toss in my own trilby. Why not the best? Why not me? Who, I ask, is better qualified?
As devoted readers know, I am a lifelong resident of that place in New York that Santos lives in. I often do many New Yorky things such as eating pizza and talking loud.
If elected, I would be the first Representative to have earned the Bruno Rossi Prize for contributions to high energy astrophysics, the Purple Heart, the Nobel Prize for Blogging, and a Tony for my refreshingly unconventional portrayal of Mrs. Lovett in "Sweeney Todd." (Patti Lupone was so jealous she hired a hit man.) As Grand Master of the Knights Templar (eastern seaboard division), I've engaged in many incredibly secret projects that I'm not allowed to talk about, such as the creation of chocolate-flavored artificial adrenochrome. My Ring cycle was better than Solti's. And then there's the time I made a lasting contribution to our national prosperity by inventing Bitcoin.
Am I Jewish? Oy, am I Jewish! My mother, Matilda Shonda, often cooked potato latkas, matzoh ball soup, onion kugel, borekas, sufganiyot, dreidels, yarmulkes, and other very Jewish delicacies. And the guilt I grew up with...! This is true: When Apollo 13 broke down, first thing I did was apologize. Yes, my upbringing was so Jewish you could plotz.
My father, Kyril Elmer Cannon, inventor of the Post-It Note, was 1/8 Sasquatch on his father's side. If elected, I pledge to be a staunch advocate for the rights of all Bigfoot-Americans.
People of New York and Americans everywhere, you need me as your representative on Capitol Hill.
If you would like to donate to this campaign, hit the Donation button to your right.
Besides, I've got to come up with some extra scratch by the third or they'll turn my lights off. Thanks! And I promise to post much more frequently in the coming year.
22 comments:
You got my vote Joseph!! Only thing is dreidels go bad really quickly, especially the JINO ‘sham’ dreidles thems the real shanda. Everyone worth their schmaltz knows the only good dreidels are the ‘poh’ dreidles bur even those won’t last more than 8 days.
Maybe you’re forgetting your mamaleh’s coup de gras the Grieven!! Who doesn’t love grieven?? Aside from the hidden messages in grievin’ it’s also a delicacy on par, nay, superior to kishka! My Bubbah used to say the secret is in the chunks of skin tossed in to the boiling schmalts but after years of doing my own research I must state it’s actually the little chunks of pipek that makes a superior grieven. Who even knew that a chicken’s got a pupick??
Missed you Joe!
Hey Satoshi I got a bone to pick with you. I bought sone of those stupid BTCs back in 2011 right when the coin hit $28. Of course within weeks it sunk as low as $3 so I sold them all. My $500 was instantly worth $66 so I sold it before it would sink lower.
Sone of these cypherpunks told me “just hodl then bro.” I wanted to deck ‘em. Those 22 bitcoins were never going to be worth anything I told myself.
Lee
Can we get some evidence that you weren't born in Brazil? Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter.
You've got my vote.
You seem to be campaigning about as actively as Trump.
Cannonfire,
A while back you had a lengthy post defending America's entry into World War I. I can't find it and would like to read it again. Can you provide the link?
Joe
J (and feel free to call me J as well): I think you mean this one.
https://cannonfire.blogspot.com/2020/09/trump-swears-swear-on-whatever-or.html
I had forgotten that I wrote that piece.
You got my vote Joseph!! Only thing is dreidels go bad really quickly, especially the JINO ‘sham’ dreidles thems the real shanda. Everyone worth their schmaltz knows the only good dreidels are the ‘poh’ dreidles bur even those won’t last more than 8 days.
Maybe you’re forgetting your mamaleh’s coup de gras the Grieven!! Who doesn’t love grieven?? Aside from the hidden messages in grievin’ it’s also a delicacy on par, nay, superior to kishka! My Bubbah used to say the secret is in the chunks of skin tossed in to the boiling schmalts but after years of doing my own research I must state it’s actually the little chunks of pipek that makes a superior grieven. Who even knew that a chicken’s got a pupick??
I don't know if you check out the comments anymore, but if you remember, I suggested a comparison of Sabbatai Tzvi and Donald Trump. The Forward just published this https://forward.com/culture/556849/false-messiah-donald-trump-sabbatai-sevi-gershom-scholem-isaac-bashevis-singer/?utm_source=Iterable&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=ForwardingtheNews_7485515
I think Trumps followers are scarier than Trump. Also, you had listed Moonofalabama on your blogroll. I told you that it was just a pro-Russian, pro Iranian blog. Have you seen it lately?
What happened here?
Any word here? Did Joseph pass away?
Hey Joe,
I hope you're doing all right.
It appears that your opportunity is rapidly approaching, so it’s time to brush up your trilby and your aim. I am seriously psyched at the prospect.
They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate:
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.
They are not long, the days of wine and roses:
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for awhile, then closes
Within a dream.
I wish you well, and you are missed.
RIP
RIP
RIP
Good Riddance.
Miss your posts, hope you will return someday sooner rather than later.
Hope you’re well.
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