This is a dream, right?

My new theory is that I'm having a bad dream.

Here's what I think might have happened: I went to sleep right around the time Donald Trump dissed McCain's military service. During this nap of many months, I've missed a lot. The main thing I missed was the fact that Trump's insane remark about McCain knocked Trump out of the race, leaving the path open for Marco Rubio, who gained the nomination. Despite being an uninspiring speaker who sticks to the teleprompter, Rubio's increased appeal to Hispanic voters has placed him slightly ahead of Hillary Clinton. Dems now consider Florida out of reach, so they have concentrated their firepower on other purple states.

That's what's really going on, right?

You wouldn't believe how crazy my dream became. I dreamt that a pudge-ball of a man with a tangerine face (not to mention hair that would scare Tim Burton) accused Hillary Clinton of not looking presidential. I dreamt that this same tangerine candidate has a running mate who generated controversy by conceding that Barack Obama was born in the United States. I dreamt that a surrealist artist named Katrina Pierson became a spokesperson for Mr. Tangerine and that she declared the Dallas Morning News to be a "liberal" newspaper.

It's gotta be a dream. This situation is just too weird to be anything else.

Boy, I really have to lay off those spicy snacks right before hitting the sack. No more late-night visits to the corner taco truck...