A Kasich third party run? (Plus: Stoned again!)

I like John Kasich. There. I said it.

Obviously, his political views do not resemble mine -- but the guy is weirdly adorkable. Sure, we all cringed when he came to New York and tried to Goysplain the Old Testament to some Orthodox Jews...

“Have you studied Joseph?” he told a group of yeshiva students. “Did you hear the most important thing Joseph said to his brothers? ‘My brothers you meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.’ Did you know that?”

That encounter reminded me of an old Mad Magazine parody of the film Live and Let Die -- specifically, the scene in which James Bond visits a bar in Harlem and tries to blend in: "I say! That Jesse Owens sure is a credit to his race, eh wot?"

If you can't see the charm in these wince-inducing moments, I understand. But back home in Hollywood, everyone loves fish-out-of-water stories, and Kasich was a kipper in the Kalahari if ever I saw one. There's something about the guy that makes me smile, even when (especially when) he's bereft of even half a clue.

Trump often seems clueless as well, but he's also mean. That's the difference. People don't use words like "vituperative" or "irrational" or "narcissistic" to describe John Kasich. Even at his worst, he's goofy and well-meaning. All of Trump's Republican opponents espoused ridiculous policies, but Kasich, at least, was nice.

Kaisch left the race the moment it became clear that Cruz could not engineer a brokered convention. His parting words were characteristically dorky:

"As I suspend my campaign today, I have renewed faith, deeper faith, that the Lord will show me the way forward and fulfill the purpose of my life," Kasich said Wednesday in Columbus, Ohio.

The Lord may speak to him via the elites who run the Republican party. They understand that Kasich was always the strongest Republican candidate in general election terms, even though he was never maniacal enough to please the rabid dogs who make up the GOP base.

There has been some talk of a third party challenge to Trump, intended to split the conservative vote and insure a Hillary win. To be honest, I think that a third party Kasich run could actually result in a Kasich win.

Yeah, I know: Third party challenges never prevail. Even Teddy Roosevelt couldn't pull off that trick, and Kasich doesn't have TR's appeal.

But a Kasich run wouldn't really be a third party campaign would it? The media would frame him as the real Republican in the race, while Trump would receive the Perot treatment.

Turn the Donald into the Perot, and John Kasich might actually prevail.

Is the RNC pondering what I'm pondering?

Stoner news. Well, it's official -- Roger Stone has endorsed the smear about Rafael Cruz and Lee Harvey Oswald. If you've followed this column, you know that I've posited that he was the one who got that crazy idea into the pages of the National Enquirer.

Piscopo cornered Stone on the story: “Respectfully I ask you this Roger, did you plant that story in the National Enquirer? Can I ask you that?”

“It is not,” Stone responded, noting that just last night he had a conversation with Judyth Vary Baker, the woman who has long claimed to be Oswald’s secret lover (this notion has been challenged many times over; in 2011 HuffPo wrote of Baker’s claim, “This makes no sense whatsoever.”). According to Stone, Baker, “...confirmed that [Raphael Cruz] was in New Orleans, [and] knew he was an associate of Lee Harvey Oswald.”

Oh CRAP.

Judy Baker is a bizarre, credibility-free fantasist whose claims have been sneered at by the real JFK researchers -- yet she's weirdly popular with naive newcomers to the case. They have created a kind of "Cult of Judy."

Her story is a lie. She's Princess Caraboo without the charm.

I suspect that she was inspired by a series of radio interviews that a guy named Dave Emory did with a guy named Ed Haslam, who did some rather interesting research into certain events in New Orleans. Since those two names probably mean nothing to most of you, let's not pursue that line of argument any further.

In the past, whenever Judy was caught contradicting some small detail in the established record, she would claim that someone had hacked her email account and sent fake messages in her name. Riiiight.

If you have any interest in the JFK case -- or in the larger issue of historical fakes -- check out this excellent podcast by Rob Clark (one of the good researchers). The title: "Punchin' Judy."

Now we learn that Roger Stone deals with Judy behind the scenes. Appalling. Yet not surprising.

The Trump candidacy is the inevitable result of this country's mania for the lowest forms of conspiracy theory. An absurd birther has become the standard bearer for a major political party.