Thursday, February 18, 2016

Trump rewrites reality itself

When Trump becomes president, reality will become as malleable as Silly Putty.
If and when the Vatican is attacked by ISIS, which as everyone knows is ISIS’s ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been President because this would not have happened. ISIS would have been eradicated unlike what is happening now with our all talk, no action politicians.
Correcting The Donald's verb tense choices is a job best left to Sheldon Cooper and Leonard Hofstadter. What interests me is this business of ISIS conquering the Vatican: When did anyone from ISIS ever say anything about that? If "everyone knows" about this, why didn't I know about it until just now?

Could you favor us with a citation, Donald? You are, allegedly, an author. Did you ever write the kind of book that requires footnotes?

More from The Donald:
I am proud to be a Christian and as President I will not allow Christianity to be consistently attacked and weakened, unlike what is happening now, with our current President.
"Attacked and weakened." Indeed. "Everyone knows" this. Ever since Obama became president, a person wearing a cross can barely walk down the street without being beaten into submission by black-suited Atheist Ninjas.

Apparently, we are now allowed to pull our facts out of the orifice which Aleister Crowley once called "The Eye of Horus." Very well, then. If those are the new rules, may I have a try?

If and when Donald Trump brings back the legal concept of droit du seigneur, which as everyone knows is Trump's ultimate trophy, I can promise you that all who voted for Sanders in the primaries will wish that they had voted for Hillary. I am very proud to be against sacrificing dogs to Satan, unlike Donald Trump, who has announced that canine holocausts will happen every single day when he becomes president.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

In its most recent video showing the beheadings of 21 Egyptian Coptic Christians in Libya, ISIS made a vague threat to Italy’s capital: “We will conquer Rome with Allah’s permission.”

http://www.mediaite.com/online/isiss-we-will-conquer-rome-hashtag-backfires-brilliantly-thanks-to-awesome-italians/

jo6pac said...

"When Trump becomes president, reality will become as malleable as Silly Putty."


How silly everyone knows the winners write history because they are the winners;)

Michael said...

Donald Trump would beat the pantsuit off of Hillary Clinton, because p***y.

Stephen Morgan said...

ISIS' main aim is to conquer the armies of Rome at the battle of Dabiq.

Anonymous said...

May a Christian refuse to bake a cake for someone's wedding if they wish, without fear of being sued for tens of thousands of dollars?

May a Christian openly state they believe homosexuality is a sin at their job, without fear of losing their ability to put bread on the table?

Is condemning Christianity and Christians openly something anyone fears?

I think you underestimate the pressure that some homosexuals exert to not just tolerate, but approve of their lifestyle. With the backing of the federal government to boot.

Missy Vixen said...

"May a Christian refuse to bake a cake for someone's wedding if they wish, without fear of being sued for tens of thousands of dollars?"

Why should Christians have the ability to flout the law when no one else does?

"May a Christian openly state they believe homosexuality is a sin at their job, without fear of losing their ability to put bread on the table?"

Why would Christians be discussing homosexuality at their jobs? Is believing homosexuallity is a sin a job requirement?

"Is condemning Christianity and Christians openly something anyone fears?"

No, and why should they?

I think Christians need to get over their "victim" mentality.

Anonymous said...

Missy Vixen,

You don't understand freedom of religion, or freedom of association. Why would anyone be talking about Christianity at work?

prowlerzee said...

You just made Missy Vixen's point, and/or don't understand it yourself. Why indeed would anyone be talking about Christianity at work? Mind your job instead. The last thing we need to do is coddle all these people so invested in their imaginary gated afterlife communities. I mean if you have to grovel and pray all day, just go live in a church or mosque. It has no place in school or work.

Stephen Morgan said...

I only wish people could be fired for talking about their significant others, their families and "banter". Just shut up for once.

Still, at least is won't effect Muggletonians. Religious people, including atheists, could learn a thing or two from them. Not directly, of course, because of their ban on proselytising.

fred said...

Does the Don have mob ties.