Friday, February 13, 2015

The voice of the monkey

As most of you know, presidential aspirant Scott Walker refuses to say whether he believes in evolution. In solidarity, American Family Association director (and occasional Fox News personality) Sandy Rios got on the radio and announced that "the real experts" have proven that evolution is malarkey.

Of course, she has a conspiracy theory to explain why so many people insist that evolution is a fact. I guess that the Catholic church (which accepts evolution) must be part of the conspiracy.

Quite a character, Sandy is. On her talk show, she once announced that Barack Obama had resettled thousands of Palestinian refugees in the United States soon after taking office.
“I think it is frightening because they are Islamists and they are in the heart of our country, and now they are qualified for food stamps as well. We know that in Michigan, Muslim men have multiple wives even though we don’t allow that in this country. They do still practice it so they go in and sign up for food assistance... Is Arabic going to be the new language—how many languages are we going to have that are going to be officially acknowledged in America?”
She also says that Obama includes super-secret subliminal Mooo-slim messages in his State of the Union speeches.

Moreover, sayeth Sandy, schools have replaced the teaching of reading and writing with the promotion of homosexuality. (That claim is just plain silly. If students aren't taught how to read, then how can we expect them to appreciate the works of Gertrude Stein and Christopher Isherwood?)

I presume that she learned all of her "facts" from the same "real experts" who gave her the straight skinny about evolution.

On a related note: Sandy's claim that Obama likes to place subtle "shout outs" to his (alleged) fellow Moooooslims reminds me of a question I've wanted to ask you good people for a while now. What the eff is it with the right-wing conspiratards and their obsession with ferreting out "subliminal" messages?

This obsession has a long, long history. Sergei Nilus, the promoter of the Protocols hoax, was a big believer in the idea that The Conspirators In Charge of Everything would plant secret "winks" in advertisements and logos and such. A weirdo named Jordan Maxwell has carved out an entire career devoted to the promotion of this silliness, as has the mega-freaky minister Texe Marrs. Pierre Plantard (a name familiar to some of you) liked to study corporate logos for covert occult messages. You may recall that the Proctor and Gamble company was forced to change its logo because some Sandy-esque nitwits thought that the design contained a hidden 666.

For chrissakes, why?

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that P&G really is run by the minions of the Infernal One. Why would they advertise their allegiance in the logo? Why would powerful plotters engage in such puerile pastimes? Why would the Illuminati play peekaboo?

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that Obama really is a secret Muslim. Why would he put secret messages to that effect in a SOTU -- messages so cleverly embedded that they can be understood only by Sandy Rios (after she has consulted her Captain Midnight Decoder Ring)?

I wish these right-wing "Christian" kooks would grow up. The world does not work the way they want to believe it works.

4 comments:

Gareth said...

About Scott Walker:
Integrity: The Child Scott Walker Left Behind | Wisconsin Citizens Media Cooperative

This is a two year old story, which the Republican controlled media in Wisconsin refused to cover. But, the story is still alive, as the daughter that Walker abandoned is said to be willing to come forward at some time in the future. We shall see.

Anonymous said...

Mr. C, posted: 11:06 PM

“She also says that Obama includes super-secret subliminal Mooo-slim messages in his State of the Union speeches.”

“Let's say, for the sake of argument, that Obama really is a secret Muslim.”

“I wish these right-wing "Christian" kooks would grow up.”

If President Obama were to walk across the Sea of Galilee in an ice storm, jog at full speed up to the top of the Mount of Olives, hold a golf club in his stretched-out hand, and then raise up the twelve apostles from the dead, we would hear nothing from these nutjobs but complaints that Obama once wore a grey suit and at one time, possibly smoked an unfiltered cigarette. j ;)

Anonymous said...

At the "Deep Politics" conference in California a few years ago-- which included worthies such as Michael Parenti, Peter Phillips, Ray NcGovern, Kristina Borjesson,
Peter Dale Scott, and Dahlia Wasfi (also Annie Machon, Barrie Zwicxker, and Jim Marrs)--a Brit named Ian Crane provided an answer to the old "why would they give away the game?" question.

Why would George Bush have Jeff Gannon overnight at the White House?

In Mr. Crane's universe, the outer-space reptilians who control the world have a code of ethics that requires them to reveal their plans to us mammals before their plans are put into effect.

I have never bothered to investigate Mr. Crane's ideas, so I really can't comment on them other than to report that they exist.

Monster from the Id said...

You forgot subliminal "backward masking" messages in recorded music.

For the love of Vaal, if I were a rock musician, and that crap actually worked, why would I waste that technique saying "Worrrship Satannnnn" when I could be saying "Sennnnd me moneyyyyy"? ^_^