The despicable Mr. Jones

Alex Jones has argued, in all seriousness, that Michelle Obama is actually a man. This revelation means that Barack Obama is our first gay president.

Jones goes on to argue that Michelle's alleged manliness somehow links up to “the force-feeding of all of this culturally, to reduce population and break up the family.”

Good. God.

Alex Jones represents the nadir of "conspiracy culture" in America. He makes dolts like Bill Cooper and Anthony Hilder seem sane.

I've heard JFK assassination researcher Jim DiEugenio (for whom I feel a respect bordering on reverence) wonder why Tom Hanks and others of liberal reputation have come to dismiss reflexively any researcher who questions the Warren Commission's findings. The answer is simple: Conspiracism has become a cult, and the pope of this strange new religion is Alex Jones.

The man is simply vile. No sane person would want to join any group of which he is a member. Alas, his stench now perfumes any and all who would dare to question the views presented by the mainstream media.

Jones' loathsomeness makes conformity seem an attractive option, or at least the safest haven. If Alex Jones did not exist, the CIA might have to invent him.

I am a critic of the American intelligence community, and nobody ever accused me of hewing to the mainstream view on any topic. But never make the mistake of presuming that libertarian clowns like Jones represent my point of view. That man exemplifies everything I despise.

He has never contributed one solid piece of research on any topic. Okay, he did infiltrate the Bohemian Grove, years ago, although I've heard that Jon Ronson was the guy who really made that incident happen. Jones made a film of his escapade, which I encourage you to watch. His commentary is the most unintentionally hilarious thing to be found outside the cinema of Ed Wood.

Word has it that Alex Jones is compiling a film about the JFK assassination. Nothing he says can possibly be of value. The Kennedy brothers believed first and foremost in the proposition that government can be used to benefit the common person; Alex Jones, being a proud libertarian, wants to bring the very notion of government into disrepute. In other words, he stands against everything that John, Robert and Ted Kennedy stood for.

The real JFK researchers study documents. They know the fonts and letterheads; they recognize the handwriting in the marginal notes, and they know what the routing numbers mean. My god, can you picture the ape-like Alex Jones scampering about an archive or university library? He would tear through the pages while emitting simian screeches and flinging his own feces.

Jones is not a researcher, not a sifter of evidence. Like most Texas blowhards, he is psychologically incapable of questioning himself and re-evaluating his own preconceptions. He can't even be considered an original thinker. He spews what I call "conspiracy cliches," offering the public little more than a modern-day version of the John Birch Society weltanschauung.

It's a worldview I consider dangerous. Those who hold to that worldview -- who keep repeating the conspiracy cliches -- consider themselves to be non-comformists and innovative thinkers. In fact, they are mindless adherents of the neo-Birchite party line, as lacking in imagination as they are in intellectual standards.