Thursday, January 10, 2013

"BAM! I cannot believe how idiot these people are!"

For years now, Matt Drudge has been pushing Alex Jones, America's freakiest conspiracy theorist, as the new voice of the Republican party. Liberals ought to rejoice. Anyone who caught AJ's instantly-infamous Piers Morgan appearance knows that Jones is the sort of bombastic, maniacal fear-monger who makes conservatism seem toxic.

In previous years, this blog has never endorsed gun control -- in fact, I have always counseled Democrats to stay away from that topic. (Such was my position as recently as two days ago.) For the first time, Alex Jones and his fellow conspiracy clowns have offered a compelling case in favor of gun regulation. One can get through life quite well by applying a 180 degree rule to any advice given by a paranoid Texas blowhard like Jones. If AJ recommends a restaurant, eat somewhere else.

Drudge's endorsement of Alex Jones buries the notion that the "controlled demolition" theory of 9/11 (one of Jones' favorite memes) should be associated with the left. That absurd theory originated on the libertarian right and now has no other home. True, for a few years (2005-2007), a sizable number of young, easily-duped Democrats became attracted to this foolish notion. By this point, however, everyone should be able to understand one simple equation: "CD = AJ." 

Given that history, one should not be surprised to learn that Alex Jones and his compatriots have latched onto a new form of madness: Sandy Hook conspiracy theories.

A few correspondents (including lambert at Corrente) have encouraged me to look into what some have called "Sandy Hook trutherism." Until today, I have resisted all such entreaties, if only because I didn't want to spend any time dealing with the deranged dolts who inhabit that sick world. As soon as I learned that their numbers include Jim Fetzer, Professor of Philosophy and one of the most annoying toons in Toonville, I knew all I needed to know about this movement.

If you want an introductory tour of that particular suburb of Crazyland, I suggest that you read Salon's recent piece on the Sandy Hook theorists. The Jonesian wackos think that they have uncovered proof that one of the Sandy Hook victims was never killed.
The girl in question is Emilie Parker, a 6-year-old who was shot multiple times and killed at Sandy Hook. But for conspiracy theorists, the tears her family shed at her funeral, the moving eulogy from Utah’s governor, and the entire shooting spree are fake. Welcome to the world where Sandy Hook didn’t really happen.

There are dozens of websites, blog posts and YouTube videos extolling the Emilie Parker hoax theory. If you Google her name, the very first result is a post mocking her father for crying at a press conference after the shooting. One popular video, which already has 134,000 views, was made by the producers of a popular 9/11 Truther film. “Just as the movie ‘Operation Terror’ shows the 9/11 attacks were a made-for-TV event, so too were the mass shootings … There can be no doubt that Sandy Hook was a staged event,” the narrator intones. He goes on to say that the adults who participated in the media coverage of the shootings “should be prosecuted as accessories after the fact in a mass murder” — i.e., the parents whose children were murdered in the massacre should be thrown in prison.

The crux of the theory is a photograph of Parker’s sister sitting on President Obama’s lap when he visited with the victims’ families. The girl is wearing the same dress Emilie wore in a pre-shooting photograph of the family shared with media, so she must be Emilie, alive and well. “BAM! I cannot believe how idiot these people are [sic]… That’s her,” one YouTuber exclaims as he watches the two images superimposed on each other. (Apparently missed by these crack investigators is the possibility that the sister wore Emilie’s dress and that they look alike because they are sisters, after all.)
Remember that crimson-necked ape who was photographed holding up a sign reading "GET A BRAIN, MORANS"? He exemplified the type of person who supported George W. Bush's Iraq misadventure. Now we have these classic words: "BAM! I cannot believe how idiot these people are..." That sentence sums up the Alex Jonesian mentality.

The Salon piece continues:
One posting on the community forum of Jones’ website connects Sandy Hook and Emilie Parker to Satanism, postulating that the school was a “recruiting center” for the Church of Satan.
Yes, Jonesland really is a shame-free zone. Here's the Infowars page postulating a Satan/Sandy Hook connection:
I’m just playing the “Devil’s Advocate” here, but theoretically, what if, the coven in Newtown was approached to participate in “something big” that would ensure that they, and theirs, would hold an honored place not only in this world, but in Hell? If the Illuminati NWO wants to “get our guns”, it might not only require a dramatic event to trigger an emotional response from the general public, but a large, and highly prized sacrifice, to trigger the desired response from the “Powers That Be”. What is Black Magik? Getting demons and devils to trigger events for you from behind the scenes, in exchange for your Soul (or the Souls of those sacrificed).
For sheer sickness, you won't easily find a more striking juxtaposition of image and verbiage than the presentation on this Infowars page. Honestly, this stuff is so offensive, I'm stunned that even someone as low as Alex Jones would dare to publish it.

Let's be clear: This is not a spoof. Those images came directly from Alex Jones' site. His fans really do think that way. (By the way, that's the so-called "incriminating" dress on the right. You can see the Obama photo here.)

The Alex Jonesians have produced a video supporting this inanity. You can see it here. To be frank, I don't think I could watch it without retching.

Here's another video claiming that the families of the victims are all actors.

Still another video "proving" that the families are "all fake." Again, I have not yet seen any of these productions. But perhaps this comment gives one a flavor of the intelligence level behind such videos:
Put the pieces together folks, Also turn your head to the left and you'll see a nice little shiny all seeing eye as well. Same satanist pigs that did 9/11 and that control EVERYTHING
Alex Jones and his fellow conspira-clowns are so caught up in their poisonous little world that they have no idea how reprehensible they sound to normal people. For that reason, liberals should thank Matt Drudge for making Alex Jones the new face of conservatism.

Good choice, Matt. AJ is the best thing to happen to the Democratic party since Todd Akin -- or, perhaps, since Glenn Beck.

BAM! I can't believe how idiot Matt Drudge are! All your voters are belong to us...


Anonymous said...

I know it will make no difference to these pinheads, but bring out those photos of W doing the "satanic" hand jive. Oh wait, that just helps prove he was in on the CD conspiracy.


Mr. Mike said...

The scarey thought is that these people that believe this rot are deranged cogs in our society. Your attorney, doctor, car sales rep, and on and on. Folks who in a sane country would be allowed to own shoe laces let alone sharp or heavy objects. Fortunately for us most of them self identify by sporting republican bumper stickers (or Obama) allowing you to steer clear.

Aeryl said...

Dear lord and lady forbid a family with three children of the same sex use hand me downs.

Hell, I have one child and use hand me downs.

Anonymous said...

I caught the Alex Jones' vid after your last gun post, Joe. I thought it was the most astonishing example of crazy on review. I've only read one conspiracy theory [one was enough] written by a self-proclaimed scholar, a serious intellectual, he said, who was questioning the details of the Connecticut slaughter. His take is that it was a Fed setup, designed by the devilish Obama, of course, which will disarm the public and effectively establish a World Order Dominion. Shades of Michelle Bachmann who was just renamed to the Intelligence Committee!

I didn't realize Drudge was pushing this garbage; I hardly ever read there. But this is what a steady diet of conspiracy does to people--drives them utterly mad. It would be funny if it weren't so dangerous. Alex Jones is not a lone wolf howling at the moon. Like the ditto heads, his fans are out there, becoming more and more enraged over the fantastical. And yes, they're armed.

This is going to get ugly.


Hamfast Ruddyneck said...

"Satanic gang sign"?

I guess none of these vacuum-skulled nincompoops have ever watched a football game (or other team sports event) in which one of the teams was the Texas Longhorns, and so have never seen a "Hook 'Em Horns" sign.


Anonymous said...

It's an amusing sidebar to note that Jones himself comes under other heated conspiracy theorists' attacks as a Judas goat gate-keeper for his 'not going "there"' for purported tribal solidarity reasons. He is a focal point for a considerable schism in the CT world, even among former mutual admiration-society acolytes. Many 'luminaries' in that world line up against each other with AJ as the demarcation line. Oddly enough, as they are otherwise about 90% in agreement.

The 'horns' hand sign, outside of the UT context, is most typically derived from the heavy metal context, where it indeed carries a Satanic redolence. This is perhaps lost on many non-Satanic rockers, who seem to think it means 'rock on' or 'party on.' (When it doesn't indicate a cuckold's presence, of course, more an Old World usage.)

In which of the three possible contexts Bill Clinton displayed* that hand sign is an open question, but the UT context seems lacking in his case.

(*Assuming that widely available pic wasn't photoshopped.)



Joseph Cannon said...

Well, the "satanic hand sign" also looks an awful lot like a common piece of American Sign Language slang for "I love you." Most people don't make the sign correctly -- the thumb is supposed to be extended.

Anonymous said...

For surfers it means hang loose

Andy Tyme said...

The Jones-Drudge relationship has always been (at least until quite recently with this Sandy Hook fakery madness) VERY selective on Drudge's part and decidedly one-sided.

Matt has only linked to Alex's "news stories" when they suited Matt's personal/libertarian agenda of trying to spark outrage over egregious examples of big-government abuse of "ordinary folk".

OTOH, the Jones Boys' decade-long practise of religiously chanting the 9/11 "controlled demolition" chorus has achieved scant, very likely non-existent traction on the Drudge Report, which consistently avoids questioning the feds' official 9/11 conspiracy theory just as obiescently as you do, Joe. And wild Alex NEVER links to the miniscule "original" content that appears on Matt's pioneer (and now looking quite threadbare) aggregator site.

While Jones appears (to me, at least) to be a well-financed COINTELPRO asset, dutifully laying the "ideological" groundwork for widespread future episodes of armed insurrection, whenever the SHTF moment finally arrives -- Drudge isn't spook-ed up at all. He's only an ageing, one-time wonderboy acolyte of the closeted-gay wing of the Rand-ian, Republican right.

Andy Tyme said...

And as for Satanic hand signs becoming an enforced, expected part of the pop-culture mainstream... Did you notice that every star vocalist who performed on this year's "Rockin' New Years Eve" on ABC-TV managed to work "the sign" into her/his act? Even sweet (sic) little Taylor Swift flashed her "horns" live from Times Square.

Joseph Cannon said...

Actually, Andy, I just remembered something I read long ago in an old biography of St. Teresa of Avila: Originally, the "horns" hand sign was meant not as a sign of Satanism but as a talisman to ward off the devil. When Teresa started to have mystical experiences, she was directed to make "horns" at her visions, on the theory that the visions might be of demonic origin.

Of course, I would have favored the theory that her visions were probably the result of some undercooked fish.

At any rate, the horns thing is silly, but harmless. You sometimes see it in old paintings, although I can't think of an example offhand.

Andy Tyme said...

To paraphrase Woody Allen:

"If St. Teresa were to come back today and see who all was flashing her "sign," she'd NEVER STOP THROWING UP!"

cracker said...

Yes, there are many old paintings that depict people making the gesture used by University of Texas fans. Just as there are many UT fans in Connecticut who are of elementary school age.

gary said...

The latest bit of Sandy Hook trutherism seems to be a tribute video for the dead children that was apparently posted before the massacre, according to the date stamp. I cannot explain the discrepancy and yet I believe that there is an explanation that escapes me.

Andy Tyme said...

"Sandy Hook Trutherism," huh, Gary? Well, since Joseph himself has made some worthy efforts to peer beneath the moth-eaten (by a deluge of contradictions) mass-media veil of the ever-changing, official story of the Connecticut kinder-carnage, does that make him a "truther" too?

Nay, I much prefer the term "media sceptic".

And yes, there is a huge, steaming pile of wild speculation about Sandy Hook circulating on the blogs, boards and anti-social networks, much of it desperately trying to confirm various pre-existing, fringe beliefs in Satanic cults and Spook-driven psyops. Nevertheless, the unexplained contradictions, coincidences, connections and occult symbology just keep getting shoveled into the bloody mix by the credentialed reporters themselves!

But take hope from this, all sincere sceptics... A young woman from Canada recently started a VERY detailed Sandy Hook investigatory blog that so far appears to be honestly, courageously operating without the all-too-familiar burden of Satan-and-psyop confirmation bias. Yet even this level-headed lass keeps collecting fact-founded reports that distressingly point (at the behest of SOME hidden faction) in those very nether directions: