Saturday, September 29, 2012

At last! The shock of the new!

Just today, as my ladyfriend and I passed by an outdoor event where some highly-amplified rap music blared, I said: "The problem isn't that I find this music annoying. At this age, I expect to be annoyed. The problem is that we've had rap music for some 30 years now. I'd really like to be annoyed in a new way. What's wrong with today's young people? Where's the creativity?"

One can make the same observations about youth fashions -- in fact, I've made that very point in previous posts. The first time I saw a full-out punker was in the mid-1970s. Today, you can still see kids in the same regalia, and they still think they are on the cutting edge.

The last new thing was the goth look, which I've always liked. Goth girls are sexy. But let's face it: That look started when Beetlejuice came out in 1988, a quarter-century ago. Goth will, I hope be a perennial. But it isn't new.

And then there are those young men who think that they are being ever-so-daring when they wear the beltline of their pants below their crotch. (I presume that their t-shirts are held in place with safety pins.) This may the most moronic fashion statement ever stated. And I'm cool with that. What bugs the hell out of me is that young guys have been doing that shit for at least twenty years now. It's ancient.

New! New! NEW! I want to see the shock of the NEW, goddammit!

At last...here it is, by way of the Japanese avant-garde. A fashion statement that is utterly stupid, decadent, dangerous and ugly. We are talking about something altogether indefensible. But it's new. Truly new, thank heavens. (Or perhaps, in this case, we should thank the infernal powers.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the bagel head, accomplished via saline injections to forehead.

(I'm also impressed by the mis-matched eye coloring sported by the young lady to your left.)

Yes, it's hideous. That's fine. At my age, I expect young people to do their best to freak me out. What's important is that this look is hideous in a way I have not seen before. The kids are not just annoying -- they are creatively annoying.

Bravo!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Its not new. The photo is around 5 years old. Its a trend come and long gone.

Joseph Cannon said...

NOOOO! Bring it back!

No, on second thought...maybe they can institute something TRULY inane. Like...

Horns. Has that been done? Not cheap store-bought plastic horns, but real goat horns or ram horns surgically implanted into the forehead.

Just spitballin'....

Jay said...

Yes, horns has have been done before. But I hope this blog doesn't turn into a blog promoting discrimination against others based upon appearance. If you want truly horrific fashion, look at how politicians and businessmen (one and the same in certain views) dress. They have an extremely conservative dress style that is indicative of how Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) dress and that is to say it is 'business apropriate' fashion that's from the 1920's/1930's/1940's/1950's. Seriously, they all dress the same. If there was a fashion contest between Barack Obama and Willard Romney and their election was decided upon their fashion aesthetic, the contest would be between the color of their tie because that is the only variation among the way they dress.

Lee said...

Joseph I hate to point out the obvious, but this post is not new. OK, Bagelface is new but the rest of this--- either I read this in a dream or you are recycling an old Sunday post. Not that I mind it at all.

But a few points-- 1) Baggy pants will go out of style when 10% of the population no longer fills 50% of the prison population. That is not, as the urban youth (especially of the 'DMV') say; a "good look"

2)Bagelface. And eyeball tattoos are pretty new. And meet Rick Genest the guy who single-handedly made me feel old (single facedly?) a few years back I was walking down the street when I saw this fellow approaching me-- the only thought running through my head was "How will you ever find a job??" I cursed myself for being old all of the sudden. I used to be hip, how could such an adult thought pop out of my head? Anyway the joke is on me, obviously, he got hired by Lady Gaga, and then by Thierry Mugler and as a runway model in Milan and Paris... and when he does come back to Montreal he has a circus that he runs (and the oddest thing is that I have been offered a gig with them doing my art for their events). Shows how out of touch I am.

3) Lastly Joe, especially since you are in the DMV after all, if you want to get annoyed by the kids, check out "Bounce" the latest incarnation of 'DC Gogo' it's the gogo the kids are playing, and most adult and gogo aficionados (the ones who go to events that are billed "Grown and Sexy") say it sounds like pots and pans being tossed down the stairs (but the kids LOVE it!!!) Here's some XiB (one of the starts of Bounce) http://youtu.be/oHjTSrhkiDM and here is TE (Tru Expressionz, really are you annoyed yet) with tehir hit new song 'Adorn' http://youtu.be/p1daq8TsdqE be annoyed in a truly unique way!!

Perry Logan said...

Today's young people are beautiful. But they cannot write a song to save their lives. The whole songwriting thing just skipped a generation. Don't be expecting any innovations in music from them.

Seth Warren said...

Horns implanted into the forehead - albeit not ones from a goat or ram - have been done. An example - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1373606/Vampire-woman-Maria-Hose-Cristerna-gets-horns-implanted.html

Joseph Cannon said...

Lee -- okay, I've written similar stuff before. If the kids can recycle, so can I.

Mr. Mike said...

Gaaah! Up until the eight grade I had a series of surgeries done on my sinuses. I had junkie arms from all the needle tracks from the IVs and anesthesia. How anybody can voluntarily in their person is beyond me. I'll pass on that look.