I was wondering if I'd ever again hear a yarn as hilariously over-the-top as the one recounted in the post below. Well, here it is!
What the hell is happening to this country? Sure, there will always be wackos and eccentrics among us -- life would be uninteresting if the situation were otherwise. But their numbers seem to be growing to dangerous levels, and their vehemence frightens me. I'm beginning to think that half the population has gone completely insane.
Maybe the people who write this stuff aren't serious. Maybe they operate according to a calendar which proclaims every day to be April 1.
About the previous post: Perhaps I should offer a few further words about the incomparable Dejah Thoris, the Martian mega-goddess who makes Aphrodite look like Wally Shawn. Only a boor would breathe her name without prefacing it with the adjective "incomparable."
Most of the illustrations of TIDT are all wrong. For one thing, they usually depict her as clothed, when, in fact, she wears only jewelry. Edgar Rice Burroughs was very clear on that point. (Clothing is, like, so Earth.)
You'd think that this sartorial situation could prove embarrassing at certain times of the Martian month. However, TIDT should have no such problems, since she -- like all other Martians -- is oviparous. That is, she lays eggs.
Which brings me to my second question: Why do artists always depict her with a navel?
Come to think of it, would the Incomparable One have breasts?
On Earth, the only oviparous mammal is the platypus, and the platypus has no nipples. They do secrete milk for their young, however. So perhaps TIDT would have breasts but no nipples.
Disney is going to make a film version of the John Carter novels, and they intend to be true to the books while maintaining a PG-13 rating. Perhaps they can get away with that by depicting TIDT as nude but nipple-less.
12 comments:
Joe - Unfortunately, you mis-linked -- keeping the rest of us on the edge of our collective seats...
Maz
The link isn't working for me. But yes, the whole nation has gone nuts.
Fixed, and thanks.
Yeah- that guy appears to be one of Alex Jones' henchmen- deep-sixin' any possible sane dialog of inquiry into 9/11.
And what can I say about Jones that hasn't already been said- he is libertarianleaningrepublicanbircher. Anyone who hasn't figured that out, deserves their self-proclaimed misery in this nation.
k
Here's what Wikipedia has to say about platypus lactation:
Although possessing mammary glands, the Platypus lacks teats. Instead, milk is released through pores in the skin. There are grooves on her abdomen that form pools of milk, allowing the young to lap it up.
Given that any depiction of TIDT based on that model would seem more befitting William S. Burroughs than Edgar Rice, I'm inclined to grant the illustrators a Mulligan on the breasts. (BTW, the various members of the echidna family are also monotremes -- egg-laying mammals -- but on the whole are no more buxom than your average platypus.)
Oh! I like this conspiracy theory, Joseph, It's so refreshing to have everything blamed on evil Popes and Catholics instead of the Jews!
What's with the leaders of Five Hemispheres, tho? Huh?
As for the Disney version, she could wear "Nipless" --those bandaids made to go over and hide nipples. Invented, of course, by the Japanese.
This reminds me. It's about time I read The Chessmen of Mars.
By the way, you can find the series for free at Gutenberg.org.
So, how do you suppose David Icke's Lizard People figure into all this? ;-)
Nipples aren't the only mammalian anatomical features lacking in female monotremes. Earthly egg-laying mammals don't have labia or vaginas either ("monotreme" means "single hole" in Greek) Fortunately for the intrepid Mr. Carter, a careful examination of the illustration strongly suggests that evolution has followed a somewhat different course on our nearest neighbor.
To get some more of that early-autumnal "April 1" feeling, try this article entitled "The End of the World" by Michael Ledeen.
Apparently:
"Secretive flights from Tehran to Damascus and thence to Caracas arrive at a special area in the central airport, where men disembark, are not checked by immigration authorities, and are given Venezuelan passports. Containers are unloaded and do not pass through customs.
No, this isn't about Mike Harare in Managua. Oh no, sir.
Neighboring countries believe that many of the men are officials of Hezbollah, who then fan out across the region (and perhaps across our southern border) to recruit foot soldiers for their expanding terror bases.
Drugs, Ledeen tells us, get shipped from Venezuela to Africa (sic) and thence to Europe, and finally to the United States. (You wonder why those Hezbollah soldiers don't just bring the drugs across the Mexican border. But don't question Michael).
There hasn’t been anything quite like this, he explains to those of us without his extensive knowledge of diplomatic history, since the early days of the Second World War, when Argentina secretly allied with the Nazis.
Chavez even travelled recently. Start digging your shelters!
The esteemed warner of the western world's wisest readers even mentions that ship. Boarded in Swedish waters, perhaps again off Portugal, and then later off Cape Verde. Pity he didn't even bother to read the articles he's referring to. Nonetheless:
As usual, nobody really cares to add up all this information, because their sum comes quite close to a potential “end of the world” scenario.
Quite close. To an end of the world scenario. I'll remember that.
(Well actually I strongly suspect that the Arctic Sea event is much more important than many believe. Witness visits by both Peres and Netanyahu - the latter now officially admitted by Netanyahu's deputy - to Russia. But let's forget about that and just continue to appreciate Ledeen's verbal flatulence).
Russia and Venezuela and several other countries are now in cahoots to strengthen Iran (and its regional colony, Syria).
So watch out! And you too, Fidel!
One of my favourite lines in this momentous think piece is this:
We know that Obama does not particularly like America, but failing to respond to a threat of these dimensions, not to mention actively helping our enemies, is grave indeed.
Oh for a well-organised cadre of international, intellectual threat-recognisers and planet-savers to stand up and rescue America and the world from these horrendous threats to civilisation. Michael, you're our man! Faster! Faster! Let's, er, avoid that potential "end of the world" scenario!
I'd put the number of unhinged at the same amount that supported Bush at the end, about 25%. It looks like more because of the media coverage.
Ah, Dejah Thoris...thanks Joe.
And thanks for mentioning the upcoming adaptation of A PRINCESS OF MARS...it's been a long time in the making, and granted, it will be PG-13 (meaning Dejah will have to be covered up), it'll be great to finally see this story on the big screen...and maybe they'll reissue the original novel as well.
Also, thanks for the link--Adam Hughes is the man, but other great artists who have drawn DT are Frank Cho and the venerable Frank Frazetta.
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