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Thursday, May 07, 2009
Suggestions, anyone...?
I'm thinking that Wikipedia should have an entry on me. However, I would like to fill the biography with ludicrous, insulting, hilariously wrong misinformation. Any suggestions?
10 comments:
MrMike
said...
Uhh... wouldn't that match most of the information already posted in Wiki? You could claim to have invented any number of advertising icons that were then stolen by corporate America. One of your characters could be a giant talking tampon that was nixed because people confused it with a former president.
I'm thinking of something along the lines of Vonnegut's Mother Night, with your identity hopelessly confused as a possible double- or triple- agent, complete with an assortment of other bizarre characters further muddling the issue of who you actually are. I'd also strongly suggest some link to "Exlax" Jones or "Peon" Planet to really stir things up, but that might entail a long string of edits and counter-edits over your entry.
I just sent you a message on reddit regarding a new forum I set up there. Sorry for the blatant self-promotion, but here's the forum:
"One of Joe Cannon's ancestors is actually the man who invented the cannon (which was subsequently named after him). Initially, he embraced this, however, like Alfred Nobel (the inventor of dynamite) he regretted this later in life, and attepted to redeem his name with philanthropic endeavors devoted to ending war...however, the most well-known of these, Cannon for Peace, was widely misinterpreted, and thus quite short-lived."
Great idea. Should mention one of your main claims to fame, that is proving that Barbara Bush was descended from Aleister Crowley.
Let's see, what else?: "Joseph Cannon,perhaps best known for his calm, rational and even-handed approach to the issues of the day, is proprieter of the well-known blog Cannonfire." Hmm...contains one assertion that is actually true (Cannonfire is your blog) so maybe it needs work.
Be sure to multiply your site statistics by a factor of 100 at least. Who's gonna know?
Perry, it would be funnier to see if my many enemies would take the horsecrap seriously, and the only way to arrange that is to use Wikipedia.
That said, I must thank you for the link. Loads of fun. Did you see the entry for Andrei Tarkovsky? Perfect! I wish, though that they had mentioned that the hot girl in Solaris was the daughter of the guy who made "War and Peace."
It could actually be very elaborate. You could do what Lovecraft did in his books and create a whole fictional world of books, newspaper articles, reference materials, and imaginary events etc that refer to you and seem to lend credibility to the version of the story you present.
The internet actually lends itself to this because you can create links from the wiki bio to the web sites about the supposed articles books etc that you then create.
To be fair there would have to be clues scattered all over everything so once the thing was exposed anyone who believed it would seem ridiculous.
Your fake bio should say you went to school with the Jesuits, but later left the Church although in later, friends wondered you picked a lapsed Jesuit priest as your main intellectual sparring partner. You are now officially agnostic, but "is widely thought to be" a secret, say, Unitarian. More fruitfiul ambiguity can be added by stating that in your early twenties, you became a member of the Republican Party, but a while later left in disgust at their right-wing policies/because of a personality clash with a Republican Senator/was expelled because of pronounced libertarian tendencies. The exact reason is, of course, "disputed and has regularly been a matter of public debate". Finally, you are divorced from a half-Jewish female ex-officer of the CIA who was later cashiered by the Agency while investigating Palestinian terrorist/Israeli intelligence infiltration of hedge funds on Wall Street. You still exchange letters and phone calls, but "the exact nature of the relationship is a matter of some controversy". lmollerrasmussen
10 comments:
Uhh... wouldn't that match most of the information already posted in Wiki?
You could claim to have invented any number of advertising icons that were then stolen by corporate America. One of your characters could be a giant talking tampon that was nixed because people confused it with a former president.
Let the boiz at Rumproast do it. They're experts at "ludicrous, insulting, hilariously wrong misinformation."
I'm thinking of something along the lines of Vonnegut's Mother Night, with your identity hopelessly confused as a possible double- or triple- agent, complete with an assortment of other bizarre characters further muddling the issue of who you actually are. I'd also strongly suggest some link to "Exlax" Jones or "Peon" Planet to really stir things up, but that might entail a long string of edits and counter-edits over your entry.
I just sent you a message on reddit regarding a new forum I set up there. Sorry for the blatant self-promotion, but here's the forum:
welcome to alt.conspriacy
How about,
"One of Joe Cannon's ancestors is actually the man who invented the cannon (which was subsequently named after him). Initially, he embraced this, however, like Alfred Nobel (the inventor of dynamite) he regretted this later in life, and attepted to redeem his name with philanthropic endeavors devoted to ending war...however, the most well-known of these, Cannon for Peace, was widely misinterpreted, and thus quite short-lived."
Sergei Rostov
Great idea. Should mention one of your main claims to fame, that is proving that Barbara Bush was descended from Aleister Crowley.
Let's see, what else?: "Joseph Cannon,perhaps best known for his calm, rational and even-handed approach to the issues of the day, is proprieter of the well-known blog Cannonfire." Hmm...contains one assertion that is actually true (Cannonfire is your blog) so maybe it needs work.
Be sure to multiply your site statistics by a factor of 100 at least. Who's gonna know?
You could post your bio on Uncyclopedia. It's like Wikipedia, only nothing in it is true:
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page
Perry, it would be funnier to see if my many enemies would take the horsecrap seriously, and the only way to arrange that is to use Wikipedia.
That said, I must thank you for the link. Loads of fun. Did you see the entry for Andrei Tarkovsky? Perfect! I wish, though that they had mentioned that the hot girl in Solaris was the daughter of the guy who made "War and Peace."
Plink...plink...plink...plink...
The Uncyclopedia entry on Alex Jones contains a complete discography.
Readers are adjured to read the Uncyclopedia entry on "kitten-huffing." Nonsense is no laughing matter.
It could actually be very elaborate. You could do what Lovecraft did in his books and create a whole fictional world of books, newspaper articles, reference materials, and imaginary events etc that refer to you and seem to lend credibility to the version of the story you present.
The internet actually lends itself to this because you can create links from the wiki bio to the web sites about the supposed articles books etc that you then create.
To be fair there would have to be clues scattered all over everything so once the thing was exposed anyone who believed it would seem ridiculous.
Your fake bio should say you went to school with the Jesuits, but later left the Church although in later, friends wondered you picked a lapsed Jesuit priest as your main intellectual sparring partner. You are now officially agnostic, but "is widely thought to be" a secret, say, Unitarian.
More fruitfiul ambiguity can be added by stating that in your early twenties, you became a member of the Republican Party, but a while later left in disgust at their right-wing policies/because of a personality clash with a Republican Senator/was expelled because of pronounced libertarian tendencies. The exact reason is, of course, "disputed and has regularly been a matter of public debate".
Finally, you are divorced from a half-Jewish female ex-officer of the CIA who was later cashiered by the Agency while investigating Palestinian terrorist/Israeli intelligence infiltration of hedge funds on Wall Street. You still exchange letters and phone calls, but "the exact nature of the relationship is a matter of some controversy".
lmollerrasmussen
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