I won't tell you when my birthday is, but I will tell you about the gift that I will both give myself and inflict on others: A night of Guy Movies. We're talking about classic guy movies -- the kind of movies I liked while growing up. None of this inane modern crap.Raiders of the Lost Ark marks the cut-off point. After the release of that film, Guy Movies got silly. You know that bit in Eraser where AH-nuld, sans parachute, jumps out of a jet in flight and survives, apparently because built dudes can fly by flapping their arms? I don't want to see shit like that.
Alas, all Guy Movies these days have shit like that.
I preferred Guy Movies back when they were filled with stuff that could actually happen. Also, I tend to prefer a period setting and exotic locales. Rudyard Kipling. Boy's Own Adventure. Remember the Maine. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
It isn't easy to talk a female into watching a vintage Guy Movie. I practically had to bribe my ladyfriend into seeing Lawrence of Arabia, even though it was showing in 70mm at the Cinerama Dome. Jeez, how could anyone in his or her right mind not want to see that?
Alas, in "my" home, the estrogen is firmly in charge of the television and the DVD player. This means that, seven days a week, the teevee is constantly turned to Project Runway and the Food Network and Dharma and Greg and movies like Notting Hill and The Devil Wears Prada...
... and enough! On my birthday -- on MY birthday, dammit! -- I will insist on Total Entertainment Control. Females will be present, yes, but they will content themselves with watching. Silently. Reverently. They may take their eyes off the screen only to fetch me a Guinness.
The first feature on the program will be The Wind and the Lion, in which Sean Connery (as the last of the Barbary pirates) and Brian Keith (as Teddy Roosevelt) give competing lessons in True Dude-liness. This is the film where Connery takes four prisoners, beheads two, then explains to Candace Bergen: "A barbarous man would have killed all four!"
This film boasts the best damned score Jerry Goldsmith ever wrote (and he wrote a lot of great ones). I must have seen this movie ten times during its original release, and every single time the hairs on my arm would electrify when I saw the kid hand off the rifle to the Raisuli. Another great scene comes right after that, as John Huston walks off quoting Kipling while Keith-as-TR communes with his grizzly bear. For a moment, "Princess Alice" (who was still alive at the time of the movie's release) considers joining him, then she decides to leave her father to his majestic dudely solitude. A magnificent ending.
By the way, this is also the film in which the German officer confronting the Raisuli does the exact opposite of the famous gun-vs.-sword gag in Raiders. Much better.If you are female, and if you are ever granted the privilege of watching this film of films with your gentleman friend, be warned: You are in the presence of holiness and you must behave appropriately. To be specific: You must not speak for any reason after you hear these words: "We will meet again, Mrs. Pedicaris, when we are as golden clouds on the wind". From that moment until the final credit, all of your tiresome feminine babble must cease. No excuses: Not one word. A great film is a form of hypnosis. Do not end the trance. Do not speak.
So. The Wind and the Lion (a.k.a. the Gospel According to John Milius) is definitely the first film of the evening. But what, I wonder, should be the second?
In the great Cannon collection, the following titles are available:
Where Eagles Dare
Bridge On the River Kwai
Treasure of the Sierra Madre
Duck You Sucker
The Man Who Would Be King
Once Upon a Time in the West
Patton
El Cid
Zulu
Spartacus
I also possess some of the Horatio Hornblower films with Ioan Gruffudd. These don't really meet my criteria, since they were produced after 1980, and they were not intended for theatrical exhibition. Nevertheless, they are excellent Guy Movies of the sort I'm talking about. (Until you've seen them, you won't understand the debt which Star Trek owes to the Hornblower books.)I'm also thinking of renting 55 Days at Peking, which I have not seen since I was a kid. This might make a good match for The Wind and the Lion, since Charlton Heston plays a version of the same real-life Marine who inspired the "Captain Jerome" character in TW&TL. (Meet "Handsome Jack" Myers, who should be better known today than he is.)
Khartoum? Ice Station Zebra....? Hmm. To be frank, I haven't seen those two films in decades; I worry that they may not hold up. I've never seen The Guns of Navarone; maybe I should take this opportunity to get around to it.
You have any other suggestions for Classic Guy Movies?
43 comments:
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia (you get Peckinpah and Oates)
Winchester '73 (Jimmy Stewart and Rock Hudson plus Tony Curtis)
The Breaking Point (John Garfield rocks Key West)
Some excellent choices in your post, and I am totally down with your premise. Not surprised to find two John Huston directed films on the list, and both are "treasures".
There are quite a few Connery non-Bond films I would add - Zardoz for its overall bizarritude and refutal of the future's "penis is bad, gun is good" philosophy. The Hill is grim but contains fine acting, which sorely missing in the current dude flicks. The Molly Macguires has become a lost classic tale of the workers vs. "The Man".
As for Peckinpah, I would nominate two - Ride the High Country and The Ballad of Cable Hogue; the former containing one of the most moving final scenes in filmdom, and the latter a rare comic interlude in Peckinpah's oeuvre. Jason Robard's exudes "dudeness", and Stella Stevens was finally given a role worthy of her talents.
Khartoum, no. Too much Charlton Heston typical overacting.
Guns of Navaronne, yes. And still in the WWII vein, there's The Bridge at Remagen.
It's considered bad taste in some quarters, but I like the early Steven Seagal movies.
Carolyn Kay
MakeThemAccountable.com
P.S. I like the new format.
Oh, and Papillon, The Great Escape.
Carolyn Kay
MakeThemAccountable.com
John Carpenter's The Thing. Not a female in sight :)
Also The Good The Bad And The Ugly (Prime Clint, Wallach and Van Cleef - That's a testosterone cockatail of unimaginable proportions)
The Wild Bunch
Stalag 13
Kelly's Heroes
The French Connection
The Maltese Falcon
Are The Godfather movies guy movies?
BTW, Bridge on the River Kwai is one of my all time favorites. Nice choice. I'll watch it any time. But I'm not giving up my Project Runway!
Ah, Sean. As it happens, I saw TGTB&TU recently. Every time I do, I relive the events recounted here:
http://cannonfire.blogspot.com/search?q=seed+of+tuco
Carolyn: Hm. As I recall, it was Olivier who did the real scenery-chewing in Khartoum.
And I must confess that Segal movies were kind of a weakness of mine.
"Ride the High Country" is indeed a classic work -- and it is also in the Cannon collection. But perhaps it is a little too elegiac for my purposes.
But maybe "Alfredo Garcia." Or "The Wild Bunch."
"Zardoz." Oh man. I've threatened the past three ladyfriends with the prospect of making them watch Zardoz. I just remember bits of it. Something about a giant floating head and Beethoven's 7th.
You know, maybe I deserve a Guy Movie WEEK.
Dammit.
No "Towering Inferno"? I think of that as the quintessential Guy Movie, what with all the Paul Newman heroism and phallic imagery.
Guns of Navaronne for sure!!!
Dirty Dozen, Dirty Harry, Death Wish, The Longest Yard (the original) and Rocky.
Love your choices. I also like:
A Bridge too Far, Midway and one of my absolute favorite...In Harm's Way.
My late husband had two testerone movies, during which I was not allowed to talk: The Battle of Britain and Sink the Bismarck.
Nice to see you again, Nibbles. I haven't seen Towering Inferno in many years, but I still think fondly of the scene where O.J. saves the cat.
What list of guy movies would be complete without some John Wayne?:
True Grit
Sands of Iwo Jima
Big Jake
Red River
Add: Point Blank (Marvin's best), Scaramouche (Stewart Granger's best), Broken Arrow (Jeff Chandler's best).
The Wind and the Lion is one of my favorites of all time -- and I'm not a guy! Lawrence of Arabia is also in the top five. But many of the movies on your list are high on my list. Outside the timeframe, but dare I suggest Tombstone with Kurt Russell? Escape from NY. Death Wish movies, anything with Steve McQueen or Paul Newman.
djmm
I think there are some newer guy movies:
Rounders
Unforgiven
Gladiator
L.A. Confidential
Rudy
Braveheart
Falling Down
Saving Private Ryan
Usual Suspects
But I agree that the special effects and stunts have ruined most action flicks.
Missing from the list are "guy comedies"
Animal House
Ruthless People
Caddyshack
Kingpin
Blazing Saddles
The Pink Panther series (with Peter Sellers)
the other day my husband and I were crying while talking about how great Spartacus is and Kirk was amazing. He and Jean are hotter than hot as well...fab score too
another good non bond Connery is the one from the 80's where he redoes " High Noon", but the setting's in space
Seven Samurai, Sanjuro, Yojimbo (all three by Kurosawa)
and probably something by Clint Eastwood postdating the cutoff chronologically, say Gran Torino.
(Wow, everyone posting in this thread has a name.)
Good choices, Gary. I confess that I have never seen Sanjuro.
I'm not sure that I want to inflict a subtitled Guy Movie on anyone. That might be too much.
If I did, I might want to go for a couple of obscurities (in America):
1. "The Deluge," a five-hour-long Polish epic which is beloved by pretty much all citizens of that nation, and
2. The last half of Bondarchuk's "War and Peace," with the battle of Borodino and the burning of Moscow.
Great, spectacular Guy Stuff.
Also, there's "Dersu Uzala," which brings us back to Kurosawa.
48 Hours
Master and Commander
Pat Garrett & Billy the Kid
The Long Riders
The Long Good Friday (Bigtime London gangsta Bob Hoskins takes on the IRA. With Helen Mirren and, briefly, Pierce Brosnan, in what I believe was his first film appearance)
I'm soooo missing Z Channel. Remember Z Channel, Joe? The best movie channel EVAH, and where I saw most of these films the first time. Well, except for Master and Commander, of course.
& you really haven't ever seen The Guns of Navarone? Peck, Quinn, Niven, Quayle, and Darren for us teenaged wimmins --teenaged at the time it was released, anyway. '61, I believe it was?
Great, great film, definitely Cannon canon-worthy.
Annie-- that was Outland-- a terrific Connery movie. No one has mentioned The Longest Day? Tombstone I think has now reached cult status since my entire department (all males 40-70) can quote entire scenes of the movie. Yes, my huckleberries, a great guy flick (to quote Judge Roy Bean in his movie "If that is not the way the West was, then that is the way the West should have been."
Slapshot or the movie that has achieved Guy Movie Icon Status, the Dirty Dozen.
Steve
"Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels" -- before Guy Ritchie became Mr. Madonna he directed this fantastically funny, violent, loony caper. Gambling in seedy dins, seedy sex shops, brutal bookies and their brutal (but child-loving) enforcers, stupid robbers, millionaire pot dealers, trashy strip joints, violence violence violence -- it's got it all, plus Jason Statham (now "The Transporter") in his first role, and Sting in a small part.
Hard to beat the other suggestions, they are all good.
Among the more recent, rare guy films I've actually liked is the stellar "Mulholland Falls." Nolte is so great in that.
Ignoring all your rules but I think Terminator 2 is the best guy film.
Oh, Nibbles. You know how I long for the divine Jennifer.
"Hombre"
What makes you think we're going to keep tramping after you?
Because I can cut it, Lady.
just for the record :
the movie "the Wind and the Lion" may be a good movie but is completely innacurate regarding historicity :
1) Perdicaris (not Pedicaris) was a man and not a woman
2) he was Greek and not American
3) the whole incident was caused more by Roosevelt's arrogant and jingoistic attitude, meant as posturing to win the elections.
4) no Marines were sent to free him by force. A small detachment arrived on the shore to escort him to the boats, that's all
compare with the movie U-571 which is too completely innacurate
I have understood with all the glory there is in the US history that need to invent preposterous stories from real events, even at the price to infuriate long standing allies...
Great question, great subject. Sadly I may have little to offer as the first few that come to mind are already on your list.
Many comments follow, most to comments on the post.
Let me first say that I am just a hair shy of 30, and while I'm quite a fan of film, my attention-span and it's expectations were originally built
upon late-80's/early-90's flicks.
First, I'll share a couple you (Joe) may or may not have seen (I know you're a film guy.) These might not be right for your Guy's Night, but BELIEVE ME, they're worth it.
1. The Seven Samurai (1953, Dr: Akira Kurosawa) - this movie was adapted into "The Magnificent Seven" but it's original form is an absolute cinematic masterpiece. It's nearly 4 hours long, but I've watched it probably 10 times (And yeah, Joe, I'm with you - I've seen Lawrence about as many times, and I'd jump at an opportunity to see it in a theater). If you look at the the IMDB.com top 250, it's usually in the top 10. Absolutely fucking fantastic. If you watch this and DISLIKE it, I'll eat my fucking shoe.
2. Yojimbo (1962? Dr: Kurosawa) Another Kurosawa, this was re-made into "Fistful of Dollars" - moreso than Seven Samurai, this is an American Western told in the environment of Feudal-era Japan. More of a "Guy" flick, too.
3. Not so much a "Guy" flick, but since I'm on Kurosawa, why not? "Ran" (1985, Dr: Kurosawa) - A Feudal Japan re-envisioning of Shakespeare's "King Lear." This among his best work, is probably the most philosophically negative film I've ever seen (sans Gasper Noe) and an outright cinematic masterpiece. I was lucky enough to see this film twice(!) in theaters upon it's 25th anniversary re-release. Note that, if you watch several Kurosawa flicks, that the pistol-wielding antagonist in Yojimbo is the aged Lear figure in this film.
"Straw Dogs" from Peckinpah was a good watch for me, and I liked it's journey from philosophical 'non-violence' to the eventual 'necessity of violence (in defense of women, no less!) meme.
With regards to a comment re: "The Godfather" - NO, the Godfather (spec. 1&2, the only ones that matter) is NOT a "Guy" movie. The breadth and scope of these movies are so great that to gender-ize them is to demonstrate a lack of understanding of the films themselves. They are AMERICAN films.
I am totally there on ANY John Huston films - before I got to your reference of it, TMWWBK & TTOTSM were front and center in my mind. Few directors (John Ford, maybe? And speaking of Ford, perhaps "The Searchers"?) make such masculine films as Papa Huston, and there's just something to be said for his deliberate, patient pacing that has no equivalent in today's movie-making. Maltese Falcon (and "Madre" is one of my all-time favs) is always good, but an oft-overlooked gem IMO is "The Asphalt Jungle."
And as some of the mentioned movies... I've always found "Spartacus" rather dry, sustained only by it's expensive set-pieces (Kubrick, the credited director, wanted it stricken from his directorial record.)
"The Guns of Navarrone" may appeal to those of a previous generation, but I found it rather dry and by-the-numbers; 'high adventure' in a WW2 environment, to be sure, but totally un-inspirated - I'd opt for "The Great Escape" before I'd burden any viewers with "Navarrone" (I mean, why not watch "Ben-Hur"? The sets are better, and what a chariot race!)
"The Maltese Falcon" is a gem to anyone who cherishes cinema (Huston's first feature!?! Great things to come, indeed) and the same goes for "Sierra Madre" - I give not a fuck with regards to your gender; if you cannot appreciate "Sierra Madre", do not speak to me of film, ye uncouth and unwashed masses.
For a bit of crass-ness, "Rambo: First Blood" can still be a worthwhile watch - it's interesting that the Rambo, at it's inception, was at it's heart an anti-war movie with a scarred anti-hero as it's protaganist - a relatively nuanced, thoughful movie compared to it's offspring. Something similar could be said for "Taxi Driver" - a classic masculine movie that, arguably, while glamorizing violence, never quite loses sight of his sadly misguided romantic motivations.
Lastly, Joe, let me offer a piece of advice for you and all others who are interested in sparing themselves unnecessary expenses, particularly since you mentioned considering "renting" a movie: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO RENT MOVIES. YOU CAN GET THEM FROM THE PUBLIC LIBRARY. If your local library system is ANYTHING like mine, you can request ANY movie from your local library system, and have it sent to your local branch, for you to pick up at your convenience. You will have to take your place "in line" behind those who have already requested the same item, but any decent library system should serve your needs fairly well. The Wisconsin Library system will, in fact, if I request it, mail me a copy of a publication from clear across the country, even from university libraries. A few years ago I requested a Charles Bukowski book, held by a minor university, published in 1966, of which less than 500 were published, each signed by the author. They mailed it down to my local branch for me to check out. Trust me, these resources are out there. And in my mind, if I mess up and return it late, and have to pay late fees.... well, giving my money to the Library is a HELL of a lot better than to the local Blockbuster.
Writing while drinking,
I still love to watch Lawrence of Arabia. The actors today couldn't scrub the mud off of Peter OToole's boots. Another good guy flick is "The Unforgiven" with Clint Eastwood and Morgan Freeman.
Hoarseface, there are those who not only rent from the public library but have been known to make copies. A shameful practice. Anyone who builds a DVD collection in that fashion deserves to be whipped.
Absolutely agreed about Treasure of the Sierra Madre. I'm leaning against toward it. On the other hand, part of me wants to blast a stereo soundtrack, which I rarely get a chance to do.
oldfrog: To paraphrase the film, why spoil the beauty of a thing with historicity?
Actually, anyone who wants to know what was real and what was not should read the Wikipedia entry on the film. The Marines did march to the Bashaw's palace as a demonstration of force, but they did not open fire. While Gummere wanted direct military action, Roosevelt hesitated to go that far. Teddy wasn't quite the militarist that the neocons later made him out to be.
The important part which is true, oldfrog: Perdicaris and the Razuli became friends over chess games.
It may be mostly fiction but it is a great movie!
We might add Enter the Dragon to the list. And Horseface, I love your selections. If we can add subtitled films, Brotherhood of the Wolves is quite surprising.
djmm
"Von Ryan's Express"
and
"The Great Escape"
are 2 of my all time "Guy movies"
My son loooves "Braveheart"
and
"The Gladiator"
omfg. I have not seen a single one from your "guy" movie list, Joseph. Nor any John (barf) Wayne movies, as suggested in the comments.
Spartacus??? Are you all serious? Including the woman who was married to the....guy....who cried about it? Isn't that the gayest of all films? Not that I'm saying gays aren't "guys"---far from it. But don't the classic "guys" shy away from gaydom more than anything in this world? I mean, hello. Clueless...one of the best film adaptations of the most feminine writer ever, Jane Austin, used Spartacus as the quintessential clue of gaydom.
For guy films that everyone can absorb with equal artistic pleasure and enjoyment, I agree, oddly, with Gary....Kurosawa/Mifune films.
See them all.
Also, Backdraft and all movies with Kurt Russell are a good choice. Escape from New York? Big Trouble in LIttle China? Come on. Good times for everyone.
Happy b-day, Joseph!
Lonely Are The Brave
The Last Detail
Fingers
Saturday Night Fever
I guess I'm not really a guy... I thought I was, but some of the crap I see written down here for films, sheesh!
Give me Robert Frank; Pull My Daisy, The Lines of My Hand, and Cocksucker Blues, or Jonas Mekas'"As I Was Moving Ahead Occasionally I Saw Brief Glimpses of Beauty" or how about Antonioni? some L'avventura or La Notte (or anything with Monica Vitti)? Or some early Goddard? Now that stuff took balls to make ...and maybe A Zed and Two Naughts, before Greenway got too many accolades... now that's cinema!
Have a happy birthday and all, but that film list feels like it was written by Ignatius J Reilly...
Yojimbo, Ran, anything with Jackie Chan, McCabe and Mrs. Miller, must reluctantly agree about Straw Dogs, High Noon, Victory at Sea, Blade Runner
The Sharpe series starring Sean Bean. Based on the novels by Bernard Cornwell about the napoleonic wars.
Scarface
The Godfather
Apocalypse Now
Platoon
Casablanca
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