Thursday, March 20, 2008

Al Franken, bigot

In a recent piece, I referred to Barack Obama as "Slowbama." My intention was to draw attention to his make-'em-wait oratorical style. A reader has informed me that the "Slowbama" sobriquet is racist -- as is, apparently, any other insult directed at the Savior From Illinois.

Before apologizing for the unconscionable injury done to the glorious SFI, I would like to take this opportunity to expose another bigot: Al Franken.

In his book Lies and the Lying Liars, Franken refers to television journalist Bill O'Reilly as "Bill O-LIE-ly." Not only that. For months, the name of Franken's radio program was The O'Franken Factor -- a so-called "joke" name which inescapably reminds us of ugly stereotypes.

Obviously, the true target of Franken's jab was not a single Fox News commentator, but all of the Irish Americans who came to these shores in the 19th century. They came searching for freedom and prosperity, for a chance to remake their lives after the disastrous potato famine of he 1840s -- a famine which reduced the population of Ireland by a quarter. Alas, when they arrived on our shores, Irish immigrants encountered exploitation, resentment, and the cruelest forms of intolerance.

Franken's bigoted commentary showed utter disregard for the memory of those who sought work only to face a sign reading "No Irish Need Apply." The insulting name "O-LIE-ly" mentally returns us to the days when Americans of Irish heritage were routinely derided as untrustworthy, shifty, and given to criminality. He brings us back to the unfortunate days when Irish housemaids (always disparagingly called "Bridget" by their employers) were routinely accused of dishonesty and laziness -- "vices" which many thought curable only by a conversion to Protestantism. The pressures to convert were incessant and harsh.

Perhaps Franken hopes to see a resurgence of the nativist movement, as dramatized in Martin Scorcese's film Gangs of New York. Perhaps, if his Senate bid should falter, Franken will run as the nominee of a resurrected Know-Nothing party.

Of course, Franken is in his 50s, and thus belongs to an older generation known for its social intolerance. Still, a man in his position should be aware of the many fine contributions to American society made by Irish Americans. We have, within living memory, the example of Al Smith, an Irish Catholic who ran for president in 1928, only to encounter a vicious firestorm of ethnic and religious prejudice.

Take it from me, Al -- the time has come to let the healing begin.

When I make my formal public apology to Barack Obama, I hope to be standing next to Al Franken as he offers his apologies to Bill O'Reilly.

(The preceding post is best read out loud with a recording of "Danny Boy" playing in the background.)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Joseph Cannon said...

In case you're wondering, the comment above was deleted because it contained the words "faggot shit" directed at yours truly. I was too quick to delete. It should have stayed as an example.

I thought that Barack Obama's supporters are supposed to be the better educated Dems...

Anonymous said...

I'll 2nd that. You're a piece of faggot shit alright and a total dumbie. Nobody reads your shit so stop shitting it.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Joseph Cannon said...

I really shouldn't be so quick to delete. Could you re-post?

To the person who argued that this post will single-handedly destroy the Democratic Party, I must ask:

What is it that you have against Irish People? Don't you have any sympathy for their decades of struggle? Perhaps you have been brainwashed by such movies as "The Departed," "Leprechaun" and other examples of the Hollywood anti-Irish conspiracy.

At any rate, I do not think that Al Franken will destroy the Democratic party if he joins me in this much needed apology. The time has come to unite.

Anonymous said...

you're seriously comparing yourself to Al Franken ?

First difference I see: Franken is targeting the real ennemies and not supplying them with ammunition like you do.

Anonymous said...

I'm always glad to help and repost my anonymous comment for the blog administrator who delete them too quickly.

"I hope the next time you beg for money from your readers, that it's going to be for buying your pills. Because you need to be mentally ill to keep insulting everybody like you do and recoil in the poor victim position when you feel attacked.

You transformed into what you are supposedly fighting. You're not better than the "progshit" or the "obamabot", you're only a new flavor of the same hateful crap (you started dating Ann Coulter or what ?).

Apart from destroying the democratic party, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR OBJECTIVE HERE POOR IDIOT ?"

Anonymous said...

WOW! I never gave Al Franken a thought until now.
You may be in danger of falling off the flat side of the earth!
Bring your "A" game,if you want to be taken seriously.
i.e.
"
Obviously, the true target of Franken's jab was not a single Fox News commentator, but all of the Irish Americans who came to these shores in the 19th century. They came searching for freedom and prosperity, for a chance to remake their lives after the disastrous potato famine of he 1840s -- a famine which reduced the population of Ireland by a quarter. Alas, when they arrived on our shores, Irish immigrants encountered exploitation, resentment, and the cruelest forms of intolerance."
Who are you trying to reach?
Deluded,medicated,half-witted,slow maladjusted human beings,of Irish descent?
It is no surprise,that a weapon was named after the better stock of the family!
Ty Davis
Scottsdale,AZ.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the "Slow" in "Slowbama" was part of a strategy, but I would be surprised that in your current state of mind you would be able to notice.

From the WSJ editorial !
"The speech assumed the audience was intelligent. This was a compliment, and I suspect was received as a gift. It also assumed many in the audience were educated. I was grateful for this, as the educated are not much addressed in American politics.

Here I point out an aspect of the speech that may have a beneficial impact on current rhetoric. It is assumed now that a candidate must say a silly, boring line -- "And families in Michigan matter!" or "What I stand for is affordable quality health care!" -- and the audience will clap. The line and the applause make, together, the eight-second soundbite that will be used tonight on the news, and seen by the people. This has been standard politico-journalistic procedure for 20 years.

Mr. Obama subverted this in his speech. He didn't have applause lines. He didn't give you eight seconds of a line followed by clapping. He spoke in full and longish paragraphs that didn't summon applause. This left TV producers having to use longer-than-usual soundbites in order to capture his meaning. And so the cuts of the speech you heard on the news were more substantial and interesting than usual, which made the coverage of the speech better. People who didn't hear it but only saw parts on the news got a real sense of what he'd said.

If Hillary or John McCain said something interesting, they'd get more than an eight-second cut too. But it works only if you don't write an applause-line speech. It works only if you write a thinking speech.

They should try it."

Joseph Cannon said...

The WSJ...? Isn't that owned by...

Well, that doesn't matter. The Sainted One may do that which the Evil One may not.

Here's my favorite comment of the evening...

"Who are you trying to reach?
Deluded,medicated,half-witted,slow maladjusted human beings,of Irish descent?"

Oh MAN. This is the funniest thing I've seen all week, with the possible exception of Stewie Griffen describing his mother's vagina. ("I even had room to twirl my cane as I came strolling out!")

If you really want to know what I was up to, why not show my piece to someone with an IQ over 115?

Speaking of Irish matters: Did you know that there were people who seriously thought that Jonathan Swift had intended "A Modest Proposal" to be read as a cook book?

(Go on. Ask me what Swift has to do with my piece. Please do. You'll really improve my opinion of your mental acuity.)

AitchD said...

Swift bought the Armour meat-packing plant in Minnesota. Franken's cousin's grandfather was Max "the boiled flankin" Factor, whose Lubavitcher lawyers hired gentiles to arrange the purchase. Am I right?

Joseph Cannon said...

H, sometimes you're so dry that even I have a hard time deciding if you are just being droll.