Here it is, and thanks again!
dr. elsewhere
UPDATE:
Thanks to the astute comment by Joy below, I feel it perhaps key to emphasize the point here is NOT to get the attention of the NSA. Instead the point is to overload the system so thoroughly that it crashes, or at least becomes disabled or irrelevant. In fact, I would hope this little strategy would diminish the chances that anyone would get flagged.
I think there is a way individual citizens can take this matter of NSA eavesdropping in hand and turn the system upon itself:
Ma Bell meets George Orwell - or How to Stop the NSA and Become an Enemy of The State - A Satire
By now you have probably all read the ACLU’s report on the activities of NSA’s spying technology, eavesdropping 101: What can the NSA Do? (1/31/06) http://www.aclu.org/safefree/nsaspying/23989res20060131.html (also attached). Summary: “This (NSA spy) dragnet approach is not only bad for civil liberties it is also a bad use of our scarce security and law enforcement resources. In fact, the creation of large numbers of wasteful and distracting leads is one of the primary reasons that many security experts say data mining and other dragnet strategies are a poor way of preventing crime and terrorism.”
I think I have hit on an interesting little prank, that if enough of us participate, just might bring this thing to a screeching halt. You may have seen Tony Scott’s 1998 film “Enemy of the State” starring Will Smith and Gene Hackman. The practice I propose is a low-tech variation on their idea of turning intelligence technology upon itself and its masters. I think one of the nonviolent techniques we might be able to employ to frustrate these spooks is as follows:
The next time you call someone, even if it is a routine call to a buddy, your ex wife, your banker, the hair stylist, or the pizza place, read the following announcement at the end of the conversation. It goes without saying that this announcement should also be read at the conclusion of all calls to foreign countries. If you are a Democrat, a liberal, have ever attended a protest rally, written your Congressman or the local newspaper, you can be sure you are on their suspect list. The goal is to get as many other people as possible under surveillance and raise the raw database to infinity. Please keep your line open for a call from me soon. At the end of your conversation read as rapidly as possible the following announcement. Be sure to speak the key words clearly and distinctly, however.
“Before hanging up I would like to have your permission to conduct the following exercise: This is a test of the overload capacity of the National Security Administration’s data mining information acquisition software. This caller, in voluntary cooperation with other patriotic citizens in your area who believe that such domestic spying in addition to being an unconstitutional infringement on the privacy of American citizens, as well as doing nothing to actually enhance national security and in defiance of Federal, State and Local authorities has developed this system to activate, and hopefully overload, the detection software by reading the following key words: Beeeep - Osama - Koran - assassinate - bomb – jihad – Greenpeace – anthrax – Iraq - Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Thank you for your cooperation. If this had been an actual National Security Emergency and not just the Orwellian manipulations designed to keep a pliant citizenry in a state of constant paranoia and fear, the key words you have just heard would have been followed by: Information - on how to effectively eject these brigands from the offices of trust they have successfully stolen from legitimate candidates. News - without the slimy fingerprints of Karl Rove all over it. And Instructions - on how to non-violently overthrow this government. Good by and good luck.”
Try this little prank on your Republican friends when you call them. When the 700 Club has its next telethon – call in and read these key words to them. That should start things moving. Why should we progressives be the only ones under Bush’s magnifying glass?
2 comments:
I don't know.
For about a year now, I've been saying the words, "bomb", "jihad" "terrorist", "overthrow","hate Bush", "dictator-asshole Bush" and Hitler-Bush" as often as I can on the 'Net and in phone calls. And the US government has yet to knock on my door or give me a call or even get in a small snit over my seditious language.
Maybe the problem is that my disorganized gibes aren't as powerful as it would be for many people to read a proscribed set-piece.
That's probably it. And maybe the prank you describe will work.
But for a prank, it's just too much trouble without knowing there's a big payoff. When do I get screams, outrage, and a frogmarch to the pokey? I need some kind of guarantee. It's no fun without a payoff.
Joy Tomme
(Ratbang Diary at: http://ratbangdiary.blogspot.com)
Dear Joy,
My primary purpose in writing the piece was intended more as a satire than anything else. Of course it would be quite a phenomenon if the idea caught on! The sheer volume of numbers that the NSA is accumulating (even without our help) from their data mining sweeps is virtually paralyzing the FBI’s domestic follow up operation and driving the field agents nuts. That is a sight I would dearly love to see! It sort of makes you wonder if there might not be a secret cabal of patriotic, revolutionary fifth columnists within the NSA organization who are using the informational gathering machinery to actually clog up the works and subvert the whole process. Is it possible they are covert al-Qaeda operatives? The point of all this being that it would be practically impossible to FUBAR the situation further than it already has been. If every man, woman and child in my state of Missouri concluded every phone conversation with the suggested key words (what a thought!) it would barely show up as a blip on the NSA’s radar.
My prank addresses the illegality of the whole business of domestic spying. My request that people use their (presently expiring) first amendment right to say anything they please over the phone and that it might be picked up by a criminal element in our own government to be then used against their exercising said right, is a circular proposition that is on its face, pretty hilarious. If they dared bust anyone for this prank, just imagine the counter lawsuits that would surely result. It’s enough to make an ACLU lawyer salivate
In the interest of full disclosure, I will have to admit that I participated in a similar hoax during the late 60’s when the FBI was hunting down and killing the Panthers and the leaders of other black activist organizations like dogs in the street, a decree went forth from Hoover’s office that a tip line be set up in the Chicago bureau for citizens to inform the FBI as to the whereabouts of Eldridge Cleaver. The leadership of the local anti-war movement put a notice in our underground newspaper (The Chicago Seed) that invited sympathetic people to call this tip line and give the agents wildly misleading information as to Cleaver’s whereabouts. I made about a dozen or so calls to the FBI personally: “Hello, FBI? I just saw Eldrige Cleaver at the corner of 63rd and Halstead. He was dressed like a pimp and was driving a Robbins-egg blue Cadillac. If you hurry maybe you can catch him.” Of course, I always called from a pay phone.
I would like to suggest that similar hoaxes be put in place to vex Big Brother and his machinations at every turn. The purpose of such activities on our part is really more symbolic than practical. B B and we know that the purpose of programs such as NSA is twofold. First it is not to actually protect us from our enemies but to spread our own domestic brand of terror by letting everyone know that he/she is being watched. Secondly these programs allow the spooks to gather intelligence on Bush’s political opponents and those who might potentially pose a threat to his power. If these eavesdropping activities were legitimate why is he circumventing the FISA court? Also I must sadly add that it is altogether possible that none of us will be able to do any sort of protest or advocacy of any kind, serious or satirical, at some unspecified time in the future. I am frankly a little surprised that we are still as free to say what we do. I think the reason they allow it at all is they know that we really can’t do anything to stop them and we don’t have the courage of our convictions anyway.
My final point of the exercise was to make fun of the serious contention that these mind police make - that this kind of surveillance will make us any safer from terrorism. Rather than take the real, necessary, expensive steps to actually protect the homeland, they like to play Inspector Clouseau and make us think they are protecting us with this illegal spying. The fact that everyone in the country is clinically paranoid with the knowledge that their every communication is being monitored is a nice little bonus for the authorities as well. It is amusing to me that suddenly everyone on the left has suddenly developed such respect (acquiescence?) for the FBI and the CIA, two originations that have done more in the history of this country to subvert and destroy democracy at home and abroad than any terrorist ever dreamed (sorry Valerie.) We need to make every American conscious of the fact that these organizations and the NSA are out to do us in. I believe we must take every opportunity to encourage our fellow citizens to distrust and resist in any legal or illegal (non-violent) way possible, the agencies of the Federal government that are charged with unlawful domestic surveillance, unauthorized search and seizure, rendition, torture and imperialistic conquest abroad. That also means harassing and obstructing the military and the National Guard here at home. Even if in doubt as to the legality of the offending agencies’ activities, resist and impede first and ask questions later. We have a long tradition in America that the citizens respect the military, law enforcement and agencies charged with protecting our security. That respect must be undermined in every way possible. The citizen’s first thought must be that these people are as great a threat to us as any terrorist ever could be. That was the overriding purpose of my piece. I hope you agree with my goal - even if you might find my method frivolous and ultimately ineffective.
Peace,
Bob Boldt
bboldt2@netzero.net
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