"Can you believe Terence Malick has a new film out already? I'm worried. If he starts churning them out like sausages, the quality may suffer."
I overheard that sentiment at an actual Hollywood Christmas party. Okay, the "Hollywood" label is actually something of a stretch -- basically, the party was put on by an ad agency which does a fair amount of work for the industry. Despite my official status as an impoverished freelancer, I managed to wrangle an invite and taste how the other half lives.
The first toast of the evening went to Barbara Boxer for her preliminary efforts in the movement (still in its gestative phase) to have George W. Bush impeached. At this party, she was more popular than Santa Claus.
Our wonderful meal was topped by Aborted Fetus Chocolate Torte, after which we were given adorable little packets of "H" to sprinkle on our kids' breakfast cereal in the morning. The head of the agency's Department of Planning described the new technology which will be used to hide the subliminal message "Jesus died because he was weak" in several upcoming movie trailers. After a chorus of "The Internationale," we participated in a lovely ceremony in which the "guests of honor" included two goats, a cat, a German Sheperd, and a 15-year-old virgin from Alabama. Quoting Aleister Crowley, our Master of Ceremonies explained: "The blood is the life: So it says in Corinthians. And who am I to argue with Saint Paul?"
I sure am glad to live in a blue state.
9 comments:
Dude, did you have Aborted Fetus Chocolate Torte at a dinner party this week, too? That particular dessert is more popular than ever this year, it seems. What's up with that? Oh, right, the rise in both the social acceptance of overt misogyny and widespread nihilistic bad taste.
Joseph,
have you lost your head? May I humbly ask you to immediately remove the " Aborted Fetus Chocolate Torte" from your blog before some addled brain rightwing Christian extremist decides you weren't kidding after all and comes after you?
This is not funny and I lived with a leading athiest who was surveiled at athiest meetings by the FBI (I would wave at them as I drove by their unmarked car).
Joseph I beg you to come to your senses and just remove the 4th paragraph that starts with "Our wonderful meal" from tonight's post ASAP.
The 4th paragraphthat is really sick stuff and your rightwing extremist sicko Christians might take you seriously and might get offended (will get get offended).
Remember what happened to John Lennon after his private interview about the Beatles being bigger than Jesus got taken out of context: within a year, Brian Epstein was dead, and John was taking massive doses of LSD with Yoko stalking him and convincing him that it was time to break up with the Beatles in order to be fully one with Yoko and he became "johnandyoko" and no longer was simply john lennon. (let's not forget that Gordon Liddy along with other like minded friends such as Richard Helms and Richard Nixon hated John Lennon and justifed the U.S. Government's abuse of Lennon (not apologizing for it) on the grounds of his
influence on an interview on VH1: "John Lennon was not Britanny Spears; this was not just another pop singer. He had a kind of power and influence that no other singer had back then or for that matter has had since."
-G. Gorden Liddy)
These rightwing extremist Christian bigots have no sense of humor and take everything at face value.
Joseph be careful with the sick religous humor, if I don't find it funny others who avid religious extremists will take offense.
from anon in SF
Now I'm confused. A line about feeding heroin-laced breakfast cereal to kiddies is all right. And there's nothing wrong that line about murdering a teen-aged virgin from Alabama.
But “Aborted Fetus Chocolate Tort” crossed a line..?
It was okay for Monty Python to make jokes about cannibalism in the Royal Navy, and about a man who ate his mother's corpse because he was feeling "a bit peckish." Not to mention the "Can we have your liver?" bit. Or the Sam Peckinpah parody where the tennis racket sliced through one man's skull and another man's hands were severed by a piano lid.
Redd Foxx used to do a "heart attack" routine once a week. Saturday Night Live had a bit about a guy with a massive head wound. Dave Chappelle goes after crack addicts. South Park featured a man who was inordinately fond of chickens -- not to mention Mr. Poo and the Mel Gibson send-up and...well, every week there's something. "Drawn Together" offended even ME with a shot of God confronting an ear-level penis. And years ago, "Doonesbury" did a great send-up of the anti-abortion video "Silent Scream."
But “Aborted Fetus Chocolate Tort” crossed a line...?
(There really was a tort. Bill O’Reilly may be interested to learn that it had “Season’s Greetings” written on the side.)
Now I know you're joking. There are no fifteen year old virgins in Alabama.
unrealist,
That was my comment to Joseph too. (Too many fast running brothers)
Ms. Vandal
thanks for all of your ruminations of
the past year; you, raw story and
brad blog have kept me sane(somewhat)
during these insane times
merry xmas!
uh aborted fetus chocolate cake???
eeeyeww....
I joined the blogger masses. Stop by sometime:
http://liepardestin.blogspot.com/
Picture an aborted fetus. Would you really want to be sitting in front of something like that with a fork in your hand? I think not. Remove that bad taste from our mouths, and our thoughts.
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