Oh my Gosch!

The Jeff Gannon/Jim Guckert story refuses to die. Note, for example, this story on Bellaciao -- which features what appears to be a photograph of Guckert leaning in for a clench with W. That look on Bush's face is priceless.

The Johnny-Gosch-grew-up-to-be-Jim-Guckert theory also remains alive. The argument has spawned the mother of all threads over on Democratic Undergound, for reasons I can fully understand: If the theory is true, then the wilder tales to arise out of the so-called Franklin case are also true. And that, in turn, would mean the end of the Bush dynasty.

(If you are going to review the DU material, start with the summaries here.)

On a certain level, I want the rumors to have a foundation in fact. Do we have any facts?

Guckert does bear a physical resemblance to members of the Gosch family. Interesting, but hardly conclusive.

Ted Gunderson, formerly of the FBI (and former presidential candidate for a right-wing minor party) says that he was told by a "source" that Guckert is Gosch. Trouble is, Ted's the kind of guy who would believe anything you told him, provided your info fit into his conspiratorial framework. Let's say you wanted to spread the story that George Tenet is a Chinese spy who had undergone surgical alteration to look Caucasian: Just call Ted Gunderson, RayeAllen Russbacher, Robert Sterling and Alex Jones, then sit back and watch as the tale circulates.

(On the other hand, Gunderson believes that Oswald shot JFK and that J. Edgar was straight!)

Sherman Skolnick makes a similar allegation, citing no source or documentary evidence. Again, Skolnick hardly has a rep as a discerning sifter of evidence.

Democratic Underground posters have linked to all sorts of wacky web sites (such as this one) filled with yarns about the mythical Project Monarch (a hoax perpetrated by a couple of Tennessee con artists), murderous Freemasons and even the dreaded Illuminati.

Now, I've been known to indulge in conspiratorial speculation myself, but I do try keep speculation clearly labeled as such. Credibility crumbles if you associate with the kinds of people who peddle unverified shock stories.

Things get tricky, of course, when those unverfied shock stories coalesce around a kernel of truth. The Nebraska scandal does have a basis in fact. Larry King was indeed a crook. Spence and Blodgett were indeed involved in a gay prostitution ring with connections to the first Bush White House. I suspect that something awful really did happen to Bonnacci, Alisha Owens and the others. Inevitably, however, all SRA tales become drenched in crap, and picking the Hersheys out of the horseshit soon becomes an impossible task.

Of course, such tales do have an interesting side effect: They play well among evangelicals, which means they tend to undermine fundamentalist faith in the Bush family. I suppose that's a good thing, from a purely tactical viewpoint.

But our interest should run deeper than mere tactics. Ultimately, we should seek proof. And you won't find any on the fearmongering sites which have recently become popular with certain D.U. posters.

In his communique, Ted Gunderson stated that he spoke on behalf of Noreen Gosch, Johnny's mother. But she refuses to take a stand on this topic, according to Michael Corbin (who has known her for years).

The obvious next step is to contact Noreen Gosch herself, and I've attempted to do just that. Alas, my emails bounced back and calls to her listed phone number have resulted in either a busy signal or an answering machine. I'll let you know if I get through.

Many have noted that Paul Bonnacci has made claims involving Johnny and Hunter S. Thompson at the Bohemian Grove. Naturally, these claims ballooned into speculation that Thompson was "suicided" to stop him from talking about Gosch.

Is the Thompson link worthy of credence?

Newcomers to this corner of the conspiraverse may not understand that nearly every well-known person has played a cameo role in one "ritual abuse" tale or another. For example, the Tennessee con artists mentioned above (whose early writings introduced memes mimicked by Bonnacci) have fingered as "Satanists" such luminaries as Gerry Ford, Senator Robert Byrd, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Boxcar Willie, Jack Benny, Bob Hope, former Dodger pitcher Fernando Valenzuela, the entire Disney company and...well, the list goes on forever.

The bottom line: Everyone you've ever heard of is a Satanist. Or so, at least, certain anti-Satanists would have you believe. More than a century after Leo Taxil made his grand confession, the devil-spotters remain as gullible as ever.

I'll be happy to revise my opinions, and even to apologize for the harsh things said about Gunderson and Skolnick, if some genuine evidence pops up in favor of the "Oh-my-Gosch" hypothesis. By "evidence" I refer to something other than an unnamed source.