Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Blue and Red? No: Producers and Leeches

We are now a country of red and blue states. Who, I wonder, picked those colors? At one time, the election-night color schema was the reverse. In 1976, Gerry Ford chanted "Go Blue!" while watching the returns come in.

I'm not happy about consigning the color red to the other side. (As perhaps you've guessed, I like red.) So let me suggest an alternative to our color-coded paradigm: Producer states and Leech states.

Producer states give more to the federal government in taxes than they receive in services. Leech states receive more than they give. Leeches steal from Producers.

Most blue states are Producers; most red states are Leeches.

Ironically, hypocritical Leech-state dwellers often accuse Producers of being pro-socialism. The terminology I have suggested would correct that false impression.

I've also noted that within the various states, the red counties tend to be Leeches and the blue counties tend to be Producers.

Take Nevada, for example: Clark county (i.e., Vegas) produces a lot of revenue for the federal government, much of which goes to next-door Nye county, where the primary employer is the Nellis Air Force Base. Nye went for Bush in a big way. The Nye-ites probably view themselves as rugged individualists, yet they suck government teat. A cammo-clad teat is still a teat.

Much the same pattern occurs here in California. The Producer counties are all close to the shoreline, and they are almost all blue. San Bernardino, our largest county, is red -- and it's an economic basketcase, except for military employment. They are leeches.

Put the Leech states together, and you have (as the currently popular cartoon reminds us) Jesusland. If we Producers were to secede, the Jesusland leeches would sink into a Third World morass. They would no longer be able to steal our money. The teat at which they suck would shrivel. Meanwhile, we Producers would soon regain the productivity of the days before the Reagan revolution, when unions were strong, taxation progressive and the working man got a decent wage.

Resolved: Everyone must replace the misleading "red and blue" terminology with the more accurate "Producer state" and "Leech state." It is so ordered. Rome has spoken.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes,but could we make Las Vegas a territory, sort of like the US Virgin Islands? I'd really miss the buffets and blackjack on the strip. Revenue sharing would also work for everyone - There's also no reason whatsoever to allow the rest of the Nevada leeches to continue sucking Clark Co. dry.