"Is it really so bad?" Why this story is important

For a long time now, I felt that the first sign of the "Bush bulge" story gaining credibility would come when apologists started running columns devoted to the theme of "Let's say W did wear an earpiece -- is that really so bad?"

The first such column has already seen print. See this piece by Mercury News writer Dan Gillmor. An excerpt:

I would argue that in this case the rules need updating. Voters would have been better off if the candidates had all kinds of technology at their disposal, so they could double-check their own facts and precisely rebut opponents' misstatements.

In the Information Age, the ability to find relevant information quickly and use it intuitively will be at least as important as the ability to memorize numbers or slogans.This will be as true for everyday people as presidents and their staffs, and powerful tools will soon be at our beck and call.

Technological aids of this sort aren't new, though their use has sometimes been contested. Remember the debate when children first started taking calculators to school? It was assumed (with some truth) that kids would forget how to add and multiply the old-fashioned way, using a pencil and paper.

This argument so thoroughly annoyed one reader that he (or she) offered this open letter:

Mr. Dan Gilmore asks why so many people are disturbed by the possibility that President Bush might have been cheating in the debate by using a secret earpiece for coaching during the debates. Mr. Gilmore compares the rule against such aides to the rule some teachers have prohibiting use of calculators in math class.

Why, really, would it a problem for the President of the United States to have a secret voice telling him what to say during a Presidential debate?

Well, Mr. Gilmore, let how many reasons would you like to have?

First, may I begin by telling you why children sometimes need to learn to do math without calculators. Let's imagine that little Georgina always uses a calculator for math. She grows up and becomes President. One day, while she is visiting an elementary school to read with the kids, the US is attacked by terrorists. They have hijacked two jet planes are clearly intent upon crashing those planes into buildings where large numbers of people work. The voice in the President's ear rapidly describes the situation and concludes, "Oh NO! What shall we do first? We one fighter jet in a position to intercept. It is located exactly between the two of the planes. It can stop either but not both. It looks like USAir 347 can hit a building where about 5000 people work. It's 7:30 in the morning and we estimate that 10% of those people would be at work. The other plane seems aimed for a building where only 4,000 people work but it is the a time zone where it's 8:30 and we think at 90% of those people would in the building. What shall we do? We have only 60 seconds to decide. After that there will be no time for any interception at all. Oh NO! They are now reporting several more planes. One is flying straight at..."

The little voice goes silent and President Georgina spends the next seven minutes trying to think where she can go for a calculator. The fighter flies circles and waits for orders.

Oh well, let's not worry about that. Who would ever imagine the possibility that anyone would hijack jet planes in order to crash them into buildings.

Now, why would it be inappropriate for a President to use a little voice telling him to say during a Presidential debate? Here are a few of my thoughts:

1. If the debater has a little voice, how will I, as a voter, know if I like this President's ability to think and respond in an quick and independent manner?

2. If debaters have little voices, how will I know if I'm voting for an intelligent person or selecting the intelligence and reason of a good actor's little voice?

3. How do we ask the world to respect a President who needs a little voice when debating? Would the President, himself, negotiate with other world leaders or would that also be the work of a little voice?

4. What if, in the middle of a world crisis, the little voice turned out to be a member of a long-silent terrorist sleeper cell?

5. What if the little voice died in the middle of a world crisis?

6. What if the little voice is really the secret employee of a evil megalomaniac financial genius bent on world domination?

7. Finally, from another perspective, how will I, as a teacher, answer the student who first wants a calculator for math tests and then asks why she has to do independent work in classroom debates if Presidential candidates are allowed to have little voices?

I could mention more things but I'd need to have some information. You know, the sort of things you find in those boring newspapers with the big words and in those awful thick intelligence reports. My little voice usually helps me with things like that he's too much to drink tonight and he's about to pass out. I'd order a pizza so he'd have some food to help him sober up but I lost my calculator and I wouldn't have a clue how much to add for a tip.

I'll have to sign off now. I sure hope my little voice wakes up before my stupid teacher makes me solve any more terrorist jet plane math problems.

Necessarily Anonymous