I want you to talk about a certain politician. Ambitious fellow. Has his eye on high office.
Is he telegenic? Let’s put it this way: In an “Addams Family” movie, he could play Lurch.
And that’s the least of his difficulties.
He has mental health issues. People who’ve known him for years describe all the classic symptoms of manic-depressive behavior. They say that for a while there, he went completely ‘round the bend.
He was a lazy young man who got into fights all the time. People liked him only because he told lots of dirty jokes, the filthier the better.
Frankly, this guy has a wild sexual history. Prostitutes. They say he caught a sexually-transmitted disease at an early age.
It gets worse. For a long time, he “set up housekeeping” with a young man. They slept in the same bed!
To this guy, religion is a scam. He once wrote a small book claiming that Scripture can’t be trusted, and that Jesus was probably just a man.
Of course, he deleted that book when the political bug bit him. What a hypocrite!
He’s as liberal as they come, always droning on about helping minorities. Doesn’t seem to care if business gets hurt. Always supports labor. Always supports strikes. Wants to spend tax dollars on big government projects.
Years ago, he said that if the conservative movement gets too powerful, he’ll move to Russia.
Naturally, he was a trial lawyer. Defended people he knew to be guilty. In a murder trial, he convinced the jury that a “cop conspiracy” fabricated the evidence against his client. Shades of Johnny Cochran!
His wife? Shrewish, ambitious – and a total kook. She has been known to dabble in the occult – seeking psychic advice and such. They say he does the same thing.
If this guy wins the nomination, kiss the south goodbye.
So. You think this guy has a chance to become president?
Nah. No way. Not these days.
And that’s too bad – because his name is Abraham Lincoln.
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