Sunday, July 31, 2016

#trumpsacrifices -- My top ten

Right now, if you go to Google and hit a single key -- "#"-- the first autocompletion is #trumpsacrifices. As you probably know, Donald Trump has bragged that he has made sacrifices -- by employing people. Since capitalists create jobs only when doing so enriches the capitalist, I must conclude that Trump doesn't grasp the meaning of the word "sacrifice."

Or does he? We all know that Donald Trump would be worth a lot more money today if he had simply placed his inheritance into a hedge fun and let others tend to his fortune. By pretending to be a businessman, Trump has sacrificed much.

The #trumpsacrifices meme has evoked some hilarious responses. Here are some sacrifices Trump has made, according to various Twitter wits:
The women's vote

Had to outsource “wife” position to foreign models since most of the time domestic ones wouldn’t date him.

Didn’t marry his daughter.

Donates used wives to the poor

He once made it through an entire thirty seconds without talking about himself.

Once slept in a three star hotel

When the press pointed out he hadn't actually given any money to vets, he had to actually do it

Was once so hungry he actually ate a Trump steak.

Had to eat a taco bowl to prove he loves Hispanics

During his fifth bankruptcy, he could only afford Aquanet.

It's not easy being orange in a society where some people treat you differently because of the color of your skin.
Even though I tweet not, I'd like to contribute to the fun. Here are my top ten suggestions as to how The Donald should have responded when asked "What have you sacrificed?"

1. "A cat, a goat, and my first-born child."

2. "My final three molecules of dignity."

3. "2K for an escort who won't even do anal!"

4. "Loaned O.J. one of my gloves and never got it back."

5. "Never could tell the world how proud I was of Dad's work in Every Which Way But Loose."

6. "Once schtupped an 8."

7. "Had to pay off that doctor big time to get out of Vietnam."

8. "Once had to perform a menial task."

9. "Vladimir won't swallow."

10. "Vladimir makes me swallow."
I hate autocompletion in all contexts. To stop Google doing it, I saved their URL with "complete=0" on the end.

But even when I take it off, I don't get "#trumpsacrifices" when I type "#". Sounds as though Google spy on you and are tailoring their autocompletion to serve you what they think you want.

"I'll have the a-"
.............."-PPLE PIE! And to drink?"
"Just a c-"

Or even


Orangutans are beautiful creatures (here, here, here.)
Please let The Rude Pundit handle the kinky sexual innuendo.
Awww, stickler. YOU come up with something better than that OJ remark. I was proud of that one.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is 

powered by Blogger. 

Isn't yours?