Saturday, February 13, 2016

Scalia's death: May I have the pleasure of offering the first conspiracy theory?

"Think of the Supreme Court." For quite a while now, those five words have offered the strongest pro-Hillary argument. Sanders cannot win in the general election; Hillary can. A vote for Sanders is therefore a vote for the Republican. Thus, it is in the interest of conservatives to make it easier for liberals to vote for the sure-loser socialist (who gets nothing but good press now, and who will get nothing but devastating press after he wins the nomination).

How better to accomplish this task than by allowing Obama to replace the Supreme Court justice whom liberals hate most of all? It would not have been difficult...
Scalia, 79, was a guest at the Cibolo Creek Ranch, a resort in the Big Bend region south of Marfa.

According to a report, Scalia arrived at the ranch on Friday and attended a private party with about 40 people. When he did not appear for breakfast, a person associated with the ranch went to his room and found a body.
A little extra "something" in his food or drink could do the trick nicely. It would probably take you less than an hour of research to name a substance that could create a "natural" death without showing up in the autopsy results.
U.S. District Judge Fred Biery said he was among those notified about Scalia's death.

"I was told it was this morning," Biery said of Scalia's death. "It happened on a ranch out near Marfa. As far as the details, I think it's pretty vague right now as to how," he said. "My reaction is it's very unfortunate. It's unfortunate with any death, and politically in the presidential cycle we're in, my educated guess is nothing will happen before the next president is elected."
Au contraire. I think Obama will find a replacement pronto.

Do I truly believe this scenario? Nah. But in modern America, every major event requires a conspiracy theory; mine may not be the best, but it is the first. How long, I wonder, will we have to wait before we get a conspiracy theory which blames Scalia's death on the Clintons?

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations! After hearing the news I searched "Scalia death conspiracy" just knowing the speculation would begin. You win.

jo6pac said...

He is died I hope but if anyone believes obomber will replace him with someone from the class that cares well get a clue. The so-called liberal press is crazy unless he picks for the same pool as sir clearance, and that will happen. His masters will have just sealed the end of Middle Amerika.

Oh and his reward will be a lieberry built on public land and if can get ttp passed the lieberry will be worth $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ from the %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%. Party down.

B said...

Yes, of course. But I am to think that this is going to work wonders in the GE too. Obama will nominate a woman, a young professional. A mother, white, in her 50's. A christian. Her name doesn't matter. The Republicans know they can't pass the judge, and they know they are going to lose if they stall this woman.

This news, like the NH results that favored Trump, has elected Clinton president.

Alessandro Machi said...

Hillary Clinton was going to nominate Barack Obama for a Supreme Court position. Now that that may be off the table…????

Although the republicans may try and stall the process until the next president is elected, because that's only 11 and 1/2 months away. lol.

I hated Scalia's positions, comments about his positions, and I hated his close ties to the Bush family.

ben said...

The theater around Obama's choice of nominee will be great. Seeing the neocons freak out, is even more fun. Pass the popcorn please! Scalia? Makes one hope Karma is an actual reality.

jt said...

My guess is death by hooker

Amelie D'bunquerre said...

The two names that immediately came to mind: John Garfield, Nelson Rockefeller. And I assumed the resort ranch was one of those places like the Overlook Hotel.

B said...

I may have spoken to soon. I just watched Trump attack George Bush better than any democrat has ever done, on the GOP floor.

Trump going to the left of Clinton over the USA in the middle east will win him the election.

Damn, amazing.

Alessandro Machi said...

Trump has said crazy shit like reinvesting in the military so that it is the strongest and best in the world. That's what we need, Tanks, fighter planes, and war ships stronger than all others, meanwhile the Chinese blow up our satellites making all of that weaponry basically useless.

Gerald Fnord said...

I saw how red Mr Trump looked as he accepted his New Hampshire victory, and wondered 'Is he going to drop dead and spawn ten milkuon cobspuracy theories?'.

I guess that was just what They wanted me to think.

Caro said...

Alex Jones, to the rescue! - http://bit.ly/20TUVLH

gary said...

I think this is satire: http://harddawn.com/nimoy-and-obama-killed-scalia/

Anonymous said...

O.M.G. An orgy of conspiracy theory is upon us. I like this one: Spock, otherwise known as Leonard Nimoy, was behind the murder. Having faked his own death, Nimoy [grand illuminator of the Illuminati] organized his minions and knocked off Justice Scalia, poisoned him with the gleeful participation of the Far, Far, Far Left who apparently live in Marfa, scheming their evil schemes away from the eyes of True Patriots. Except for our wily conspiracy cultists.

Sorry, this really is a mental disorder. Call a doctor, quick.

Peggysue

gary said...

oh peggy sue, look up satire in the dictionary

Ivory Bill Woodpecker said...

Harddawn looks like a satire site to me--but it is a disconcerting fact that it can be hard to distinguish a satirical site from a genuine conspiratard site.

Now if it turns out Scalia was killed by tal-shaya, I might change my mind... ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey Gary, have you read a number of these theories?? Tying Brietbart and Scalia deaths together, for instance? Or Obama had a hand in the nefarious deed. Or . . .

It's all satire from my point of view.

And a call for a mental health scans, too.

Peggysue

Anonymous said...


Just Wondering: Was Tony “Scales” Scalia found dead in bed with a rentboy or, this being Texas, a heifer (young cow)? Will we ever know?

Succession suggestion: Speaking of cows. Obama should nominate Hillary. It would be great fun just to watch her turn it down.

Anonymous said...

Talking about bigs anonymous 6.19 pm she will be the president

Anonymous said...

I meant pigs

Lenny said...

Obviously, a conspiracy rumor doesn't need to be bound by logic...by wouldn't just offing Bernie instead be a lot more effective? He's only 5 years younger than Scalia.

Joseph Cannon said...

You didn't understand my theory, Lenny. The idea is to make Bernie the nominee, because the Republicans will beat the pants off of him. (And they WILL.) There is no incentive to kill him.

You may then ask: Why not kill Hillary? Well, that would require a lot of doing. She has Secret Service protection and all.

Speaking of the SS -- it suddenly occurs to me that they might be reading this message. Look, guys: This post is nothing more than an exercise in rank paranoia about what a mythical "THEY" might be up to. I am being deliberately absurd here. Obviously, neither I nor my readers would ever advocate violence against Hillary, Bernie, Scalia or any other political figure.

je said...

Chelsea Clinton's second baby is due in four months. In June, 2014, four months before the birth of her first child, former Senator Howard Baker died. Baker was on the Watergate committee where her mother, Hillary, was a staffer. Baker had been Nixon's first choice for a Supreme Court nomination, but it went to Rehnquist instead. When Scalia was nominated in 1986, the Senate Judiciary Committee had just completed a bitter fight over making Rehnquist Chief Justice, which was followed by the Scalia hearings. It's all about the coverup. Simple, really.

Anonymous said...

No autopsy will be performed since it was noted his flag was still at full mast due to the Viagra! He died with a big smile on his face that still remains.