Wednesday, December 10, 2008

It's beginning to look a lot like Fitzmas! (UPDATED!)

I just thought of a great nickname for Rahm Emanuel: SEEDY RAHM. (Oops! See added note below.)

Rahm O Rahm Ema-a-anuel
You're going down and Barky is as well

Since this is the season of hope, maybe we should express our hopes by way of a few Fitzmas carols. This is just to get you started -- feel free to contribute your own. I've updated this post with a new carol -- "The Little Motherfucker"

Rahm, he told me (that motherfuck fuck)
“We cannot pay thy fee” (that motherfuck fuck)
“Thy price we cannot meet” (that motherfuck fuck)
“To fill the Senate seat” (that motherfuck fuck
Motherfuck fuck motherfuck fuck)

“So to placate you (that motherfuck fuck)
This we’ll do:

Mrs Blago (you motherfuck fuck)
Can have a job, you know (that motherfuck fuck)
She need not do it well (that motherfuck fuck)
We’ll pay her like Michelle (that motherfuck fuck
Motherfuck fuck, motherfuck fuck)”

I said “Give more (you motherfuck fuck)
A 501(c)4 (you motherfuck fuck)
Its coffers you can fill (you motherfuck fuck)
With maybe fifteen mill (O, motherfuck fuck!
Motherfuck fuck! Motherfuck fuck!)”

Rahm said “Let’s go through (you motherfuck fuck)
SEIU.”


* * *

Oh, you better watch out
You better watch out
You better WATCH OUT!
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!!
The FBI is tapping your phone.

They know when you've been scheming
They know that lips are loose
Blago blabs like he's doing meth
And he's going to cook your goose...

* * *

O little town of Chicago
How deep the rot sets in
No pol to come from that great slum
Is ever free from sin

The public servant lineth
His wallet with the buck
If you don't pay then you won't play
And he won't give a fuck


* * *

We're sending a Jesse Jackson
We're sending a Jesse Jackson
We're sending a Jesse Jackson
Junior to jail!

He wanted to fill
a senator's chair
So he told Rod "I'm sending
a million right there!"

Says now he didn't say it
He says now he didn't say it
He says now he didn't say it
But Blago's on tape.

Chicago's a cesspool
That no-one can scrub
ANYONE from there
Is someone to snub!

Added note: Turns out I'm NOT the first to think of the nickname Seedy Rahm. But I'd still like it to catch on...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love the carols!

And a Merry Fitzmas to you all!!!

Anonymous said...

OK, I got one for you...

Away in the jailhouse
A slab for a bed
That slumlord named Rezko
Laid down his bald head.
Then Patrick Fitzgerald
Looked down where he lay
Said, "Now I got Blago.
I'll put him away."

Anonymous said...

I thought he was "Oily Rahm"

winni said...

HAHAHAHA Thank you for the great carols. I'll try not to sing along in church.