Finally, Donald Trump has identified the true foe, the evil force behind those Satanic Clintons: The International Bankers
, who are forever plotting against American sovereignty.
We must clear up an important misconception: Despite the baseless accusations you may have heard, Donald Trump is not talking about Jews
. No no no no.
He's talking about bankers. International
You know the kind of bankers I'm talking about. I'm talking about the international bankers who live in New York City and watch a lot of Woody Allen movies. Some international bankers go around wearing funny little international banker beanies. Stereotypically, they visit their international banker psychiatrists to complain about their international banker mothers.
In terms of cuisine, you can depend on the international bankers to make the world's best Reuben sandwiches. For some reason, too many international banker mothers prepare flavorless boiled lamb for their international banker holidays. (I happen to love lamb, but international bankers usually make it all wrong.) When all else fails, international bankers always know the best places for Chinese food.
International banker friends have told me that International Banker Princesses (IBPs) are both high-maintenance and terrible in bed.
Will international bankers take offense at this post? I doubt it. Many of the funniest comics in America are international bankers, and they are the first to appreciate a good international banker joke.
At any rate, I hope I've set you straight about Donald Trump. Some say that he has gone too far, and that he may have to apologize to the international bankers. Don't be surprised if he tweets a picture of himself eating a bagel, accompanied by the words "I love international bankers!"