Satan worshipers drown women with milk in Planned Parenthood counter-protest

I don't have much to add here. I'm not going to pretend that this is an important story. All I'm going to say is that we have discovered this month's best headline of all time.
"Satan worshipers drown women with milk in Planned Parenthood counter-protest." Say it loud and there's music playing. Say it soft and it's almost like praying...to Satan.
At one point during the protest, a man claiming to be a sheriff unsuccessfully attempted to move the Satan worshippers along.
If you live outside the United States, I have to ask: Does anyone in your country still take the United States seriously? If so, why?