The Des Moines Register says that Donald Trump should "pull the plug"
on his candidacy, even though he has surged ahead
of the other Republican candidates. By calling Trump a "feckless blowhard," the Iowa newspaper has expressed a clear preference for blowhards who possess feck.
I disagree with the Des Moines Register. Here are ten good reasons why Donald Trump deserves his party's nomination:
1. He is the only candidate who could or would say "Blow me" to Sheldon Adelson, Chaim Saban and the Kochs. (I'm being serious.)
2. Trump is the peace candidate: Since no soldier in his right mind would fight for him, war would become impossible.
3. His nomination would be a great step forward for orangu-Americans.
4. He'd be the first wig-wearing candidate since James Madison. (Yes, James Monroe wore a wig, but he gave up the practice years before his presidency. I'm full of fun facts like that. That's why you come here.)
5. If he gets the nomination, someone will surely ask him how he can simultaneously say that "Mexico has our jobs" and that Mexicans are coming to America to find work.
6. If there's another crash, he will assure the country: "Don't worry about America going bankrupt. Everything's safe. I've arranged it so my personal fortune will not be touched."
7. Europe will announce with one voice: "Fuck this. We're joining BRICS."
8. Trump opposes the TPP treaty. (Not a joke; he really does.)
9. Trump has vowed to protect Social Security. (Not a joke; he really did.)
10. Albert Camus: “The absurd is the essential concept and the first truth.”
I just thought of reason 11: He likes women with large breasts -- thus, there probably aren't any incriminating photos of Trump carousing with Jeff Epstein's girls.