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Monday, May 18, 2015

He's in!

Oh joy! Bobby Jindal is running for president. At least, he formed an exploratory committee. And here is the Facebook page, which is a true watering hole for Republican intellectuals. Sample comment: "The constitution is the law of OUR land not sharia law" -- Cindy Yount.

I wonder how many Republicans will demand to see his birth certificate? His parents had come to this country less than six months before Bobby's birth. In other words, he was conceived outside of this country by non-citizens. And his real first name is Piyush.

Did you know that "Piyush Jindal" is an anagram for "PLY JIHAD IN U.S."? It's also an anagram for "Hindu jail spy" and "Puny jail dish."

Hm. If you ask me, this story sounds fishier than Finding Nemo. Was Bobby Jindal's suspiciously timed birth part of an Illuminati plot? Or a Jesuit plot? Or a Jesuminati plot?

More-or-less seriously, I'd like to know how the birthers will justify being paranoid about Obama but not about Jindal. You can't say that Republicans don't have standards. Hell, they have double standards.

Do you recall the brouhaha over Steve Emerson's claim that there are no-go zones in Britain where Muslims aren't allowed to enter? Even after Emerson backed down, Jindal continued to repeat that assertion. Then he went to the UK and a gave the Brits a chance to laugh in his face. Which I hope they did.

From the New Orleans Times-Picayune, April 26, 2012:
Louisiana ranks dead last on a new composite index comparing how the fifty states fare on measures of economic vitality, education, health, crime and governance. The "Camelot Index" is issued annually by Federal Funds Information for States, a non-partisan subscription service created by the National Governors Association and the National Conference of State Legislatures, which tracks and reports on the fiscal impact of federal budget and policy decisions on state budgets and programs.
The "healthy people" ranking was based on age-adjusted death rates, infant mortality rates and the percentage of people without health insurance. Massachusetts ranked first on this measure, while the report noted that,"Mississippi and Louisiana again rank #50 and #49 respectively, both performing poorly on all three measures.
The "crime-free state" ranking is a simple combination of the violent crime and property crime rates. Here, Louisiana ranked 48th, ahead of only Tennessee and South Carolina. The most crime-free states are North Dakota, New Hampshire, Idaho, Vermont and Maine.
Louisiana ranks #49 in births to unwed mothers and #50 in single-parent families...
The FFIS rating on "prudent state government" notes that, "a Camelot-like state has low taxes, low government debt, large state budget balances and the ability to maintain services without tax increases." Here North Carolina ranked first, Illinois last, and Louisiana finished toward the bottom at 43.
Last year, Jindal was pegged as the least-popular governor in the United States.
Jindal has a 35/53 approval/disapproval number, putting him 18 points under water, a figure only better than Illinois’ Pat Quinn and Rhode Island’s Lincoln Chafee, who are not seeking re-election.
His harshest critic may be the demon Pazuzu, who vomited pea soup on Jindal's sportscoat during an exorcism.

In short and in sum: Bobby Jindal exemplifies the modern GOP. My Republican friends, please choose him as your nominee. The power of Christ compels you!
Bobby Jindal was an anchor baby?!
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