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Monday, April 27, 2015

Allow me to suggest a better ending

Obama's comedy skit at the Correspondents' Dinner had him giving a boilerplate speech while his "anger avatar" -- a.k.a. Luther the Anger Translator -- let us know what the man really thinks. For example:
Obama began a boring and anodyne speech. "Despite our differences, we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day... " he said.

"And we can count on Fox News to terrify old white people with some nonsense!" interjected Luther. "Sharia law is coming to Cleveland! Run for the damn hills! Y'all, it's ridiculous."
And so on. The bit ended when the the subject turned to man-made climate change. At this point, Obama -- speaking for himself -- became so furious that Luther had to calm down the president.
"Okay, Mr. President," Luther said. "Okay, I think they've got it, bro."

"It is crazy!" continued Obama. "What about our kids? What kind of stupid, shortsighted, irresponsible bull -- "

"Wow! Hey!" said Luther, putting the brakes on Obama. "All due respect, sir. You don't need an anger translator. You need counseling. So I'm out of here, man. I ain't trying to get into all this."
After that, the skit just kind of petered out. Too bad: It really needed a socko finish. Here's how I think the routine should have ended.
OBAMA
Fine, Luther. Get the hell out of here. Don't need you. From now on, I speak for myself! I'm gonna tell it like it is! Nobody's going to hold me back. It's the end of my presidency, and for once, I'm going to take charge. I'm going to have my say. I'm not going to be told what to do. I'm Number One baby, and I don't give a crap what anyone...

A phone rings.

AIDE
Sir, it's Bibi Netanyahu. He says there's another country he wants you to mark down for regime change.

Obama picks up the phone.

OBAMA
Yes, Massa?



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