Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Exorcism -- via Skype!

It's been a while since I posted anything about exorcism. I remain quite proud of my previous work in this genre.

Today we look at the work of evangelist Bob Larson, author of Larson's Book of Cults. He bills himself as "the world's foremost expert on cults, the occult, and supernatural phenomenon," so you know that when you deal with Bob, you're dealing with quality.

Bob doesn't even have to visit your home to exorcise it. He can do it via Skype, all for the low, low price of $295! This writer for the Daily Beast (heh heh heh) opted for one of those Larson specials...
In a sharp voice, Larson commanded the attention of my demon. “I confront you by the blood of Christ. Any spirit of anger, rejection, shame, hate, even murder. Look at me. Any evil spirit that’s there… I confront you by the blood of Christ! And by the power of the cross! And I torment you! Torment you! I torment you!” Larson was intense, scary, almost violent; I would have been terrified if we’d been in the same room. In person, Larson usually has a few bouncer types to hold down his sex-abuse survivors while he shoves crosses and Bibles against their foreheads. Unsurprisingly, victims of rape respond emotionally to being restrained by large Ukrainian men.
When it was all over, the writer said "I'm good" to indicate his new spiritual clarity.

Do you need Larson's services? He used to have an online demon test waiting for you at If you visit that page, you'll see that Bob affects a Catholic-y look when he sets to exorcisin' -- which is a bit odd, since he has many disparaging things to say about the RC church in his Book of Cults.

I wanted to take the test, but it seems to be malfunctioning. My guess is that the site was sabotaged by the demon Vapula. Word on the occult street has it that he knows a lot about computers and shit.

Fans of David Lynch will enjoy this screen cap from Bob Larson's website...

Larson. Is he the one with the gang of teenage girls who go around exorcising people? The BBC did a documentary about them not long ago.
I certainly enjoy your diverse subject matter, Mr. J.C. ;)
The test is's just now you have to pay $9.95 to take it! It sent me right to Paypal when I clicked on the "take the test" link. So at least we now know Paypal is demon free.
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is 

powered by Blogger. 

Isn't yours?