Twenty years ago, people called you paranoid if you said that the American media engages in smear campaigns. Now everyone acknowledges this fact. Douglas Rushkoff of CNN can already see the outlines of the "get Snowden" campaign
His enemies have the full force of the machine -- every e-mail he's written and every phone call he's made -- to use against him. This won't be pretty. But before we decide that Snowden was smiling too much in his videotaped interview with The Guardian, earned too much money or somehow betrayed his lovely girlfriend in Hawaii in a personal vendetta against his former bosses at the intelligence agencies, let's take just a moment to consider his particularly human act of heroism.
In that light, I propose a contest: Let's predict the top ten ways our "independent" journalists will smear Ed Snowden. My list:
10. Two words: Dog sex!
9. When he was seven, he broke mom's favorite vase and said a bad word. And now the Los Angeles Times plans to devote a five-part series to "vase-gate."
8. Why is Snowden hiding his birth certificate?
7. He's growing a beard, which signifies a conversion to Islam -- just like Grover Norquist!
6. He has a family connection to (shudder!
)...BALTIMORE! (He really does!)
5. He once called in to Whitley Strieber's radio show, claiming to be the result of a human/alien hybridization experiment.
4. "Edward Snowden" is an anagram for "Do News: RED DAWN" -- proof that he's a communist sleeper agent.
3. His girlfriend planned to dump him due to pimple-sized penis.
2. He was recruited by HUI (Higher United Intelligence), the same little-known Hawaiian Secret Society that gave us Barack Obama.
1. His great-grandmother was the secret offspring of...ALEISTER CROWLEY!
(See the post below for the more important implications of the Snowden story.)