At least there won't be a war

Although we all want to know much more about the Boston marathon bombers, the finale allows us to breathe a sigh of relief. If the bombers had hailed from an Arab country, or from Iran, conservatives would now be calling for military retaliation. War, of course, would be disastrous.

Fortunately, these two guys hailed from Chechnya. Americans don't hate Chechens -- hell, most Americans don't even know what a Chechen is. One thing's for sure: We aren't going to strike at Chechnya militarily, because Chechnya is part of Russia, and Russia has nukes. Nukes compel even the hottest of hotheads to pause and think.

Of course, if the Chechens had succeeded in their bid for independence, they would not now be part of Russia, and thus might not have the protection of Russian missiles.

Odd how things turn out, eh wot? I wonder if Dzhokhar can appreciate the irony...

At any rate, we still have quite a few mysteries to dope out: What was the motive? How did the plan formulate? Did the parents' taste for conspiracy theorizing play a role? Did the two brothers have accomplices? Which foreign country asked the FBI to interview elder brother Tamerlan? Why did he travel to Turkey in 2003? Can we identify the mysterious religious "extremists" who (according to the mother) exercised some sort of control over Tamerlan? Was the FBI keeping tabs on him? Was Dzhokhar a zealot like his brother, or was he simply (as Dakinkat has put it) a "hapless pothead and shy kid looking for direction"? Why didn't the brothers get away when the getting was good? Why did they shoot the MIT cop? Did they (as ABC reported) begin that night's adventure by setting off an explosion?

You probably have another dozen or so questions of your own...

Kook's korner. Glenn Beck, still convinced that the released Saudi engineered the attack, has given Obama an ultimatum:

Beck then went on to send a semi-coded message to those in the upper level of the government warning that they had better come clean about this Saudi national because The Blaze has information that reveals that he "is a very bad, bad, bad man" which will be revealed on Monday.

"I don't bluff," Beck stated, "I make promises. The truth matters. I've had enough of what you've done to our country. I thought I had heard and seen it all. I thought I didn't trust my government. Oh no, no, no. There is no depth that these people will not stoop to. They have until Monday and then The Blaze will expose it."

Wow. So, looks like ol' Glenn is going to prove the brothers Tsarnaev are either innocent dupes or pawns, and that the real mastermind was this unnamed Saudi who was aided and abetted by Barack Obama because...well, because Obama is just that evil.

The brothers may indeed have been part of a larger group. I'm open to that possibility. But I'm not open to any conspiracy theory proffered by a lachrymose libertarian loon whose favorite historian is Cleon fucking Skousen.