On this Easter Sunday, many teevee channels regale viewers with such fare as Ben-Hur
, King of Kings
, and The Greatest Story Ever Told
. My ladyfriend ignored all of that to watch Bride of Chucky
, another fine film about a guy who survived the grave. I guess Jennifer Tilly plays a variant of Mary Magdalene.
One cable channel has run ads for an upcoming made-for-teevee remake of Ben-Hur
. The commercials give the impression that A Tale of the Christ has been transformed into a movie about schtupping
-- perhaps The Greatest Schtupp Ever Schtupped. In the 1925 silent film, there's an absolutely hilarious bit (presumably derived from the novel) in which Judah B-H loses his maidenhead to a first century vamp. The 1959 remake wisely removed that subplot, leaving viewers with the impression that Charlton Heston keeps his virginity. Believe it or not, the latest retelling is the fifth
cinematic version of the story; Heston did the voice for a 2003 animated rendition
Why does this story fascinate Americans so deeply? Most viewers/readers don't understand that this plot is really just an extended metaphor concerning Jewish assimilation, in which our hero must decide whether he wants to be called Judah or Arius. I always thought those names were a bit on the nose.
If all goes well, I'll be back a little later today with some weird stuff about Jesus. This blog has a history of posting such posts during this season, and the most notorious of those posts may be found here
. (NSFAA -- Not Safe For Anyone Anywhere.)