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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Santorum aborts. Mitt needs a hook-up.

He's gone. Our very own mad-as-Mel gonzo-Catlick candidate has aborted his quest for the presidency and begun his quest for the vice-presidency. Gingrich will surely close up shop soon. Ron Paul will continue his battle because Ron Paul exists within a parallel political universe where normal rules of time and space do not apply. He will still be running for the 2012 nomination in 2013.

So, who does get the veep nod? That's the only horserace question left. Romney must choose between appealing to swing voters and shoring up the base. I think he'll go the latter route, if only because the bagger base is so restive. Are there any potential GOP candidates who would really help him with moderates...?

I don't think that Carl Oglesby's once-popular "Yankee-Cowboy" theory of American politics still holds. If it did, then Romney would have to look south or west to balance his ticket. In the west, the obvious choices would be McCain or Palin, neither of whom would do. McCain, the last honorable man in his party, has no place in the today's GOP, while the film Game Change has finished Palin once and for all.

And in the south? Well, there's Rick Perry, whose gaffe-tastic behavior would make for some wonderful Jon Stewart segments. Newt...? Not possible. That King of Bain video was far too hard-hitting -- and truthful. I think Newt genuinely hates Romney.

Bobby Jindal? No. Y'see, the problem here is that Romney needs to reconcile himself to the protestant evangelicals who mistrust Mormonism. Neither Jindal nor Santorum can accomplish that. Besides, Jindal is really weird.

Condi Rice...? Puh-leeze. She won't sway many blacks or women, and she won't attract the Jesus voters. She will, however, remind people of everything they didn't like about Dubya. And she ignored Bin Laden before 9/11.

Jeb would have to distance himself from his own brother.

Chris Christie? Nobody likes a chubby guy (as I've learned from experience). He doesn't balance the ticket. No evangelical appeal. No southern/western appeal. He's corrupt as all hell. On the other hand, he talks the bagger talk, and he has been loyal to Romney.

Mitch Daniels? In a strange way, he might be the go-to guy if Romney decided to appeal to moderates instead of the base, if only because Daniels has advocated raising taxes on the rich.

Tim Pawlenty is a terrible debater. Even Republicans might balk at his proposal to eliminate (well, almost eliminate) taxes on the rich. He has massive negatives in his own state. He loves war.

Mike Huckabee...? Ahhh. If Romney wants to make himself liked by evangelicals, Huckabee is the guy. Huckabee is a good talker, which Romney is not. Huck's positions will horrify moderates, of course...

Paul Ryan seems to be the new libertarian favorite. If he is chosen, the Republican party will officially host the shotgun wedding of Ayn Rand and Jesus.

If this country were still politically sane, Romney's choice would be obvious: New Mexico's Susana Martinez. She is well-liked on her home turf -- a purple state that would definitely turn chile pepper red with her on the ticket. (NM will probably go for Obama if Romney doesn't choose her.) She doesn't frighten Democrats, she would definitely appeal to Latino voters, and she would instantly do much to heal Romney's "woman problem." But I doubt that she would appeal to southern evangelicals. The Crazy Person voting bloc will give her the same "Meh" they're giving Romney. Besides, a lot of people might be reminded of the Palin debacle.

The best choice? Well, speaking as a liberal, I would say that Martinez is the one name here that doesn't make my flesh creep. And that's why I think Romney will probably look toward Huckabee or Ryan.
Comments:
What about Jeb? He spoke up at a critical time to endorse?

Citizen K
 
Yes, please elaborate....why would Jeb have to turn against his own brother if chosen? Huckabee is the one who gives me the biggest creeps, precisely because he's such a good talker and on TV, which somehow gives people the idea he's credible and moderate when in fact he's a dangerous extremist.
 
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