I usually save the non-political posts for the weekends. But right now, I would like to pass along a life-saving tip -- one with no political implications whatsoever.
Over the past week, I've had to deal with a major toothache, accompanied by a major lack of cash: There was enough moolah to yank the tooth, but not enough for anything fancy like a root canal. I really want to save this tooth, or at least keep it in my head until I have sufficient cash to deal with it properly.
Now, you can't walk into the doctor and ask "Will you just write me some scrip for a goddamned opiate-based pain reliever?" The doc will take that as an indication that you're looking for happy pills, even if he can see clear signs of inflammation. Nowadays, even if you are obviously
in severe pain, most dentists will simply prescribe ibuprofin, which is available over the goddamn counter.
So I scoured the internet looking for every home remedy and OTC treatment available. They all ranged from ineffectual to sorta-kinda-semi-effectual. None of them did the trick: Not Ambusol, not cloves, not gargling with salt water, not vanilla (although that one did help more than most of the others), not apple cider vinegar (although that worked even better than vanilla did).
At last, I found the answer. Instant relief. Root canal in a bottle. A doorway out of Hell.
It is strong. It smells foul. The fumes will annoy your housemates. But daub some extract on the affected tooth with a Q-tip, then place a few drops -- no more -- on your tongue and swirl the liquid around the throbbing side of your mouth. Soon, you'll be feeling no pain.
I'm not kidding. You never know when you'll have to suffer through a really bad night. That's why you need an emergency supply of peppermint extract in your house. Combine that stuff with about 1000 mg of Ibuprofin, some Aspirin and some Naproxen, and you just might regain your humanity.
Of course, if we had a Euro-style health system, we wouldn't need to worry so much about home remedies. I guess this is
a political post after all.