Why are Democrats soft on Arnold? (UPDATES! A NUDE UPDATE! And a rather NAUGHTY UPDATE!)

Go to Google, type in the words Schwarzenegger, Gigi and impeach -- and what comes up? Precious little. Yet at this very moment, a widespread impeachment movement should be stirring.

The California governor had a seven-year affair with Gigi Goyette, who now lives in Malibu. The affair may have started when she was underaged.

Days after Arnold Schwarzenegger jumped into the race for governor and girded for questions about his past, a tabloid publisher wooing him for a business deal promised to pay a woman $20,000 to sign a confidentiality agreement about an alleged affair with the candidate.

American Media Inc., which publishes the National Enquirer, signed a friend of the woman to a similar contract about the alleged relationship for $1,000.

The story was first told in LA Magazine back in September of 2004. Alas, everyone (including this writer) ignored the matter until the L.A. Times brought it back into focus.

Two months later, the Enquirer announced it had a "world exclusive." The cover story, headlined "Arnold's Shocking 7-Year Affair," chronicled his dalliance with a former child actress named Gigi Goyette and was accompanied by photos of Goyette lounging in a thong bikini and posing with Schwarzenegger. Coming on the heels of the Premiere story, it was a lethal blow, certainly for a candidate who needed the support of the family-values, conservative base of the Republican Party to survive a primary.

The article had blindsided Schwarzenegger, who believed he had already dealt with the detritus of his life...

In the past, I have discussed the mafia and government connections of the American tabloid industry, which was begun by a mobbed-up CIA psychological warfare specialist. Tabloids have a history of protecting right-wing politicians while sliming anyone considered liberal.

Incidentally, the LA Magazine story referenced above is quite hip to this history. As that story notes, AMI -- which now owns all the tabs -- refused to touch the philandering allegations surrounding Jeb Bush, governor of Florida, which also happens to be the home state for the industry.

Florida and California have more than Disney theme parks in common. After the publication of the above-cited story, the tabloids suddenly refused to touch Schwarzenegger.

The actor cut a deal with American Media, which also owns the fitness magazines with which Schwarzenegger has had a long-standing relationship. The deal was worth millions.

I suspect that we will soon learn much more about the relationship between AMI and Arnold Schwarzenegger. At a time when the tabloids are hurting, AMI sat on a huge story -- and even functioned as the proxy for a (rather paltry) pay-off to the lady in question. Would they have done so without strong financial inducement? Just what is the relationship between AMI and the Republican power elite?

Any gubernatorial candidate who, either personally or via proxy, bribes a woman to keep quiet about an affair has committed an impeachable offense. So why are Democrats keeping mum about this sordid affair?

The ghost of the Clinton/Lewinski scandal may still haunt the political landscape. But that ghost is (pardon the expression) easily laid. Neither Clinton nor his associates paid Lewinski any money.

Moreover, the United States constitution and the California constitution differ. A president may be impeached for treason, bribery, and "high crimes and misdemeanors." A California governor may be impeached simply for "misconduct" in office.

California's corrupt governor was, and remains, party to a bribe paid to maintain his political career. That action certainly qualifies as misconduct.

The state Senate must bring impeachment charges against Schwarzenegger. The Assembly will try those charges. The Republicans, I can happily report, do not control the California legislature.

UPDATE: A reader asked where one might find nude photos of Gigi Goyette. According to Google Images, this is Gigi...and Arnold sure seems to be enjoying himself.

Actually, I don't think that the afore-cited pic truly depicts the lady in question. The real Gigi's face can be seen here. The story -- originally from the British press, and placed online by an anti-Arnold religious group -- is really quite juicy.

UPDATE 2: You will also want to read this Guardian story from 2003, which contains a snippet of a interview with Gigi herself. It seems Arnie first had an affair with her when she was underaged, then renewed the affair after he married Maria. As you will learn, what they did wasn't really "intercourse." Not really. If you're ready for some salacious details, heeerrrrrrrre's Gigi:

...Gigi Goyette, who outed herself as Arnold Schwarzenegger's secret mistress for the past seven years, on a hilarious programme called Arnold Schwarzenegger - Made In Britain, a fascinating look back to his beginnings in bodybuilding contests.

The programme traced the Austrian's unlikely journey from a sweaty gym in Romford Road, East London, where a dear old couple called Wag and Dianne Bennett worked on building up his calves, to success in Hollywood and some of the finest bedrooms in America, including Gigi's.

Gigi solemnly informed us that what she and Arnie have been doing is what she likes to describe as "outercourse". This, film fans and political supporters of the Terminator alike will be relieved to discover, involves in one of Gigi's many memorable phrases: "no insertion". She was very strict about this.

Anything outside of the body, though, is fair game, said Gigi. "I could be standing on my head and getting head," she said, conjuring up an image which successfully erased all those pictures of naked hiking from the visual memory bank. Gigi described herself as not so much a mistress, more Arnie's "avenue of relaxation".

She also rejected claims in an American magazine that Schwarzenegger was a sex pest. "Sure," she said, "he will sometimes grab a woman's ass and say, like, 'Hey, you've got a nice ass,' but it is just, like, his way of making them feel better. Every woman likes to get a compliment from time to time."

C'mon Arnie, I want to hear you say the words: "I did not haff outercourse with that woman..."